What do You ask of me, Lord?

In the middle of the storm,
On a clear summer day,
On a boat tossed by the winds,
In the warmth of the sun's rays,
I will worship You
because You are
both sovereign and soulmate,
Indescribably and intimate,
Feared and friend.
You, o Lord, are all I need, want, and desire.
Your heart is for me;
May I crave your presence daily.

I've laid my heart out for all to see (or at least Emily) - though I'm still battling the AM wake up call, it really is my heart to experience God in His fullness.

But here's the question - despite my heart's desire, what does He want from me? Is my heart in the right place? Is His will the motive behind all I do?

Jesus Calling: What I require of you is to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with Me - wherever I lead. (Micah 6:8)

Lay down our lives, not just die... My Utmost for His Highest: God saves a man and endues Him with the Holy Spirit and then says in effect - "Now work it out, be loyal to Me, whilst the nature of things round you would make you disloyal." Stay loyal to your Friend, and remember that His honour is at stake in your bodily life.

James 4: ²You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. ³When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.; ⁷Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. ⁸Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. ⁹Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. ¹⁰Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

This week has been eye-opening. I don't stay in constant motion, but my time is obligated to multiple events: work, youth, nursery, singles, my family, my friends, and God (not that He's last on my list - just happened that way). Because I've obligated myself to all of this, I am sharper with my words, more selfish in my prayers, and physically unable to function fully.

After a couple of long conversations with my "2 minutes" partner, I stopped to think about the prayers I've been praying lately, the time I spend allocated to different activities, and the quality and quantity of time I spend with my Father. I basically got the spiritual beat-down of my life in James 4.

Look, God's not asking us to recreate heaven and earth. He's not asking us to attain perfection in 2.2 seconds or less. Yeah, He does let us know there are actions we need to take after receiving His gift of salvation, but why do we flip out when He wants to hang out with us?

My cousin's alarm clock goes off everyone morning at 5:30. When you go to bed at midnight or later, 5:30 comes REALLY quickly. That part's not so bad. The part that makes me want to cry is it continues to go off every few minutes or so. He has to hit snooze like 4 or 5 times. He also has two alarms, so the sounds alternate as well. On top of this, he doesn't have to get up at that time every morning, but he chooses not to change the time.

What is the Lord asking of me? To beat down my cuz? Probably not. To get up and spend time with Him, starting my day by giving Him praise? More likely than not.

So, here's the answer to my title question: His will. Whatever it is. He's shown me this week that "His will" includes, but is not limited to, prayer, worship, thanksgiving, humility, perseverance, love, joy, peace, patience, self-control, laughter, smiling, words of affirmation and encouragement, faithfulness, truth, and slow to anger.

It does NOT include laziness, gluttony, stupidity, harshness, negativity, hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, and envy AKA basically my whole attitude this week.

Yes, I am hard on myself; however, I am growing in grace for myself. So, bless God, amen! "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^m]">[m] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Thank you Father for the goodness of the Father.

I will do what you ask of me. Just keep waking me up - I'll move, I promise.