Working Through It All

Amber died on Friday.
She and I, along with a couple other people, did everything we could together for part of our high school time.
She graduated in 1998, and we lost touch, but we still had mutual friends.
I talked to her on the phone a couple years ago, and she and I talked about finding some time to meet up.
We never did.
I knew she wasn't doing great, but she was 30.
Am I old enough to bury my girl?
The most vivid memory I have of her is from my junior year/her senior year.
She and I sang a duet for a talent show: His Eye Is On the Sparrow from the Sister Act II soundtrack, done by Lauryn Hill and Tonya Blount.
We knew we could sing, but it wasn't like them.
Mrs. Plummer helped us out. and we did our best.
I remember telling Chaz, "Sorry, but I'm singing with Amber."
I turned down "Slow Jam" by Usher and Monica.
I'm glad, though - it turned into one of my best memories.
We worked on that song, and we sang it, and it wasn't that great.
But it was so much fun.

She's gone, and I didn't say anything.
I never told her how much Jesus changed my life.
I never mentioned that Jesus' love never fails me.

I wish I had said something.
Not to get her saved, but to let her know it wasn't my love I showed her in high school.
It wasn't my compassion that caused me to invite her over, to chill with my family, to sing and dance with me, or to hang out on the weekends.
Just so she would know there was someone that loved her more than I, or anyone else, ever could.

So many songs running through my head: "Don't Waste Your Life" and "Go Hard" from Lecrae's Rebel, Israel's whole "Love God, Love People", and much more. Working through it all...

No bow yet...