A Recent Epiphany

Hi to anyone that periodically checks here. I'm still here, bogged down with stuff, but God is slowly alleviating the extra weight, literally and figuratively.

So, I had a moment of clarity earlier this week, and it really messed with my head. It's simply this: if the person I am with truly loves God first, then he won't ask me to change who God created me to be. First, a disclaimer: this is not a slam or whatever to my past. It's a lesson learned, and I'm grateful for the chance to learn it.

Moving on...
I realized this as I was on my home from singing this weekend. The trigger was a question, "what is the biggest difference between your last relationship and the next one you enter?" I paused for a moment before responding, "In this new relationship, I don't believe I will wonder if God is his priority. It'll be evident in the way he walks, talks, and behaves toward others. He'll be a natural servant, and he'll worship without hesitation because he recognizes the value of the gift." I stopped for a moment and started to cry because very few of the guys I liked in the past resembled that statement. What did I see that had me so distracted? For a couple of them, it was totally their looks. They were gorgeous on the outside, but just dark on the inside. Others, their hearts were in the right place, but there was still a deep-seeded selfishness that dictated their decisions. Then, there were those who were in church, but it was their parents' faith or a watered down version of true relationship that led them. I asked myself, "when did I become that girl that gave up who she was to stay in a relationship?" Then I realized this truth: it happened when I stopped trusting God for a man who lives for and loves God more than anything.

Today, I read this in a devo I found:

What will married life be like if your faith in Christ is just tolerated? mocked? sabotaged? resented?

Wouldn’t you rather go through life with someone who will pray for you? pray with you? go to church with you? read the Scripture with you? sing hymns with you? receive Holy Communion with you? be a true partner in raising your children as Christians?

Please don't miss the point. It's about who you are in Christ. There is security in the actions of the last paragraph. There is a sense of freedom when you know you'll be challenged to grow, but never challenged to compromise your faith. I don't want to be simply tolerated; I want to share my faith with him. Ladies, when you express your expectations, and you get the feeling he's patting you on the head and saying "bless your heart" on the inside, trust and believe you're being tolerated, not accepted.

So I pose a rhetorical question to be answered in your personal journal, diary, or whatever: what will be different in the future because of what you experienced before?

In my life, this looks like a relationship that carries a constant challenge to stay committed to The Lord and my mate. It is one that allows personal passions to be acceptable, embraced, and encouraged on both sides! It is one that respects time and devotion. More than anything, it is a shared relationship - three cords, not easily broken.