Romans 15:13 says the following - "I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in Him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit."
I read this a few minutes ago, and I was like, "Hold up". A couple questions popped up, and I think I need some help with these.
Question 1: how do you have hope if you don't have joy AND peace?
Question 2: how do we help others see this truth in their lives when they just want to get through another day?
Question 3: can you have one without the other?
I have a desire to see those I love walk with the Lord. I desire to see them trust God with everything, no matter what they're going through in life. My prayer is they walk in hope, defined as God given joy and peace, so what is my part in this process?
To be continued :)
Thanks for growing with me!
Monday, October 31, 2011
Monday, October 10, 2011
Life at 30
It's been some time since I've written here. It's actually been a while since I've been inspired to write about anything... and that is why this is such a big deal.
Don't be concerned - I'm not depressed or whatever. I've just become very complacent. Over the course of the year, I have let go of what is important to embrace what does not matter. I let lazy and shallow become adjectives that describe me instead of hard working and deep. I stopped pursuing life and all its craziness because I wanted things to be easy.
No sermons, no witty quips, and no thought provoking... thoughts. Just me, baring the lifeless drought in my soul.
2011 is almost over - do I dare to end serving the beat wine, or will I allow my flesh to rule over me for another day? Prayer is welcome at this time.
Life at 30 is very different for me on the inside. I imagined growth, promotion, and expansion. So, now, I choose to look at my life, examine it through the Holy Spirit, and ask myself, "are you willing to truly let go?"
My desire is the rest of my 30th year does not reflect these last few months. I'm lost, but His love hasn't given up yet.
They say life begins at 30 - I'm inclined to think they're right.
Don't be concerned - I'm not depressed or whatever. I've just become very complacent. Over the course of the year, I have let go of what is important to embrace what does not matter. I let lazy and shallow become adjectives that describe me instead of hard working and deep. I stopped pursuing life and all its craziness because I wanted things to be easy.
No sermons, no witty quips, and no thought provoking... thoughts. Just me, baring the lifeless drought in my soul.
2011 is almost over - do I dare to end serving the beat wine, or will I allow my flesh to rule over me for another day? Prayer is welcome at this time.
Life at 30 is very different for me on the inside. I imagined growth, promotion, and expansion. So, now, I choose to look at my life, examine it through the Holy Spirit, and ask myself, "are you willing to truly let go?"
My desire is the rest of my 30th year does not reflect these last few months. I'm lost, but His love hasn't given up yet.
They say life begins at 30 - I'm inclined to think they're right.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Dream B.I.G.
I tell you what: It's crazy how you walk a path, thinking you're all alone, but then you read a book or have a conversation, and it's exactly what you needed to hear and think about at the moment. Jayme Hightower, meet Jentezen Franklin.
Anyway, I'm reading this book and writing in a journal (sort of), and the question comes up:
What dreams are in your heart that only God can make possible? Well, shoot, I suspect all the ones that are there, right? I mean, that makes perfect sense. The aspirations and desires that are in our hearts were placed there by the Father, or we wouldn't have them. They wouldn't be worth anything. Or.... are they really from God?
I started to make a list of dreams I had, but nothing seemed to adequately answer the question. Every girl dreams of Prince Charming, her dashing knight that will take care of her and yet allow her to come along on his adventure. Guys are always looking for Xena: a strong woman that can fight with him, but is still feminine enough to let him rescue her. We all dream of bigger homes, nicer cars, more money, and well behaved kids (if you want kids). But is that really the bottom of our dream bowl? Did we really get to our true dreams?
Here's my moment of transparency - these are my deepest dreams, the ones that keep me up at night:
1. A home that is open to students, both HS and college, that is a place of refuge/safety/guidance for them
2. A husband that is willing to walk out the will of God with me
3. Teaching not just the Word of God, but its impact on the World, past, present, and future
You all might be like, "Really? That's what you want to do? Never would've seen that coming!" That's cool, but those are my dreams. Beyond the bigger home, faster and nicer car, increase in money, etc., there is a craving for these things in my life.
This isn't your typical Baptist sermon. I only have one point instead of three, and I'm about to head to the Word in a minute. Here it is: Dream B.I.G. - Believing It's God. When you get to your real dreams, the ones you don't share with anyone, or maybe you do in that moment of passionate meditation and introspection, ask God if that's His will. If so, dream BIG. That's faith - believing He spoke something to your heart and walking in the truth of its coming to pass.
At church, we're starting a study on Abraham. He was credited as a man of faith in Hebrews and as our father in the faith in Galatians. But check out Hebrews 11 - there's a whole chapter of people that are credited as faithful! Abraham's wife Sarah, his son Isaac, his grandson Jacob (he was the father of the people of Israel), and so many more trusted in the words spoken to them and believed the manifestation of them would come.
Look at Habakkuk 2:2-3
2And the LORD answered me:
"Write the vision;
make it plain on tablets,
so he may run who reads it.
3For still the vision awaits its appointed time;
it hastens to the end—it will not lie.
If it seems slow, wait for it;
it will surely come; it will not delay.
God has given us dreams and visions. He truly has a plan to prosper us after we've been decimated, discouraged, distracted, and possibly even defeated. His plan and will are being worked in our lives, and He is faithful to complete the work He started in us.
So, you tell me: What dreams are in your heart that only God can make possible? What vision has He given you? And are you standing in faith?
Anyway, I'm reading this book and writing in a journal (sort of), and the question comes up:
What dreams are in your heart that only God can make possible? Well, shoot, I suspect all the ones that are there, right? I mean, that makes perfect sense. The aspirations and desires that are in our hearts were placed there by the Father, or we wouldn't have them. They wouldn't be worth anything. Or.... are they really from God?
I started to make a list of dreams I had, but nothing seemed to adequately answer the question. Every girl dreams of Prince Charming, her dashing knight that will take care of her and yet allow her to come along on his adventure. Guys are always looking for Xena: a strong woman that can fight with him, but is still feminine enough to let him rescue her. We all dream of bigger homes, nicer cars, more money, and well behaved kids (if you want kids). But is that really the bottom of our dream bowl? Did we really get to our true dreams?
Here's my moment of transparency - these are my deepest dreams, the ones that keep me up at night:
1. A home that is open to students, both HS and college, that is a place of refuge/safety/guidance for them
2. A husband that is willing to walk out the will of God with me
3. Teaching not just the Word of God, but its impact on the World, past, present, and future
You all might be like, "Really? That's what you want to do? Never would've seen that coming!" That's cool, but those are my dreams. Beyond the bigger home, faster and nicer car, increase in money, etc., there is a craving for these things in my life.
This isn't your typical Baptist sermon. I only have one point instead of three, and I'm about to head to the Word in a minute. Here it is: Dream B.I.G. - Believing It's God. When you get to your real dreams, the ones you don't share with anyone, or maybe you do in that moment of passionate meditation and introspection, ask God if that's His will. If so, dream BIG. That's faith - believing He spoke something to your heart and walking in the truth of its coming to pass.
At church, we're starting a study on Abraham. He was credited as a man of faith in Hebrews and as our father in the faith in Galatians. But check out Hebrews 11 - there's a whole chapter of people that are credited as faithful! Abraham's wife Sarah, his son Isaac, his grandson Jacob (he was the father of the people of Israel), and so many more trusted in the words spoken to them and believed the manifestation of them would come.
Look at Habakkuk 2:2-3
2And the LORD answered me:
"Write the vision;
make it plain on tablets,
so he may run who reads it.
3For still the vision awaits its appointed time;
it hastens to the end—it will not lie.
If it seems slow, wait for it;
it will surely come; it will not delay.
God has given us dreams and visions. He truly has a plan to prosper us after we've been decimated, discouraged, distracted, and possibly even defeated. His plan and will are being worked in our lives, and He is faithful to complete the work He started in us.
So, you tell me: What dreams are in your heart that only God can make possible? What vision has He given you? And are you standing in faith?
Monday, May 2, 2011
Time for Something New
So, this is my first blog entry from my new phone. If you know me, you know I NEEDED a new phone. I've had it about a week, and it's growing on me. My only concern is I'll be just like everyone else. Let me explain before you get all upset or whatever.
Yesterday, I was at church, and I was seated between two gentlemen. One was older; the other was closer to my age. However, both were quite reserved during worship. Initially, I remained low key as the service started (partially due to the fact that there's not much worship space at the Cobb energy center), but I gradually spread my proverbial wings and lifted them before my savior. By the end of the music portion of service, I realized my ability to engage was no longer affected by my neighbors.
As Louie spoke about leverage, I became more aware of a need for a new environment. I'm in a place where I want to leverage more money for the kingdom and less on me. By the end of the message, I had a good idea of how to make a difference where I'm at.
Where am I going with this? I don't want to be like everyone else with all my stuff and things, forgetting about others in need. I don't want to stand in worship like others do, still processing through how it all works, do I like this song, or what is that crazy black girl next to me doing? I don't want to walk through life pretending things are going well because I got a little bit of change in my pocket.
How about you? Do you want to be different than those around you? Do you mind being the person that worships a little differently, handles money differently? Are you okay with not having the newest whatever? If you do, are you using it for the kingdom, or is it just a toy?
Yeah, I'm writing this blog from an iPhone. Yeah, it's new and fun, and yeah, it's worth the living of a family in Africa for a year. But I promise you one thing - this phone and all it offers me is my gift to the Lord. At the end of the day, "The earth is the Lord's, and everything in it." (1 Co. 10:26) I want to be a part of HIStory, and if this phone is a way to do so, then let's go.
Tell me, what can you leverage for the kingdom?
Yesterday, I was at church, and I was seated between two gentlemen. One was older; the other was closer to my age. However, both were quite reserved during worship. Initially, I remained low key as the service started (partially due to the fact that there's not much worship space at the Cobb energy center), but I gradually spread my proverbial wings and lifted them before my savior. By the end of the music portion of service, I realized my ability to engage was no longer affected by my neighbors.
As Louie spoke about leverage, I became more aware of a need for a new environment. I'm in a place where I want to leverage more money for the kingdom and less on me. By the end of the message, I had a good idea of how to make a difference where I'm at.
Where am I going with this? I don't want to be like everyone else with all my stuff and things, forgetting about others in need. I don't want to stand in worship like others do, still processing through how it all works, do I like this song, or what is that crazy black girl next to me doing? I don't want to walk through life pretending things are going well because I got a little bit of change in my pocket.
How about you? Do you want to be different than those around you? Do you mind being the person that worships a little differently, handles money differently? Are you okay with not having the newest whatever? If you do, are you using it for the kingdom, or is it just a toy?
Yeah, I'm writing this blog from an iPhone. Yeah, it's new and fun, and yeah, it's worth the living of a family in Africa for a year. But I promise you one thing - this phone and all it offers me is my gift to the Lord. At the end of the day, "The earth is the Lord's, and everything in it." (1 Co. 10:26) I want to be a part of HIStory, and if this phone is a way to do so, then let's go.
Tell me, what can you leverage for the kingdom?
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Well, welcome to 2011!
Happy New Year (according to the calendar) and welcome to 2011!
Does that strike anyone else as odd - just seeing the number 2011? I mean, I knew I would live a long life, but I don't think I put together my increase in years and a chronological calendar in high school. I knew I graduated class of 1999, but for some reason, living in 2011 didn't even enter my mind. Maybe it's just me.
Anyway...
Last week, on Wednesday, Pastor Sheila let a study in the office asking us to make 3 goals for 2011. They weren't just regular resolutions - these were very specific goals.
1. How we would grow spiritually and why
2. How we would change job performance and why
3. How we would change our attitudes and why
Well, I know God has been calling me to step up my game, and I had been VERY reluctant to do so. Mostly because it's scary sometimes when it's just you and God. Not that He's scary, but the real you is scary and really hard to take in sometimes, especially when you don't know or don't deal with areas that others allude to in conversation. God brings those things up as well, and it's a lot.
So, for this study, I sat in the quiet of the church office (it was just me by around 5 or so), took that hour, and said, "God, what are the answers to these questions?"
This is what He said:
1. I am to walk out of my addiction to comfort, just like an addict to drugs or alcohol. I also will be uncomfortable. Because of my disobedience, it's now "I asked before, and you didn't listen, so this discomfort will come, and I need you to be obedient despite it."
2. "Serve the best wine at the end". I heard this from my volunteer team captains the whole weekend I volunteered for Passion 2011. It was the cry of their heart and soon became mine as well. Just like Jesus in John 2, we are to serve the best at the end. God knows at the end of day 3, I was grateful to be going home. Our team just stood on our feet for two and a half days for anywhere from 9 -14 hours. It was painful, and there were some moments when I wanted to cry. However, I saw the faces of the students, and I smiled and greeted and high fived and loved on them because I knew they were tired by day 3. It was a honor to serve them, and it is an honor to serve my employers. So, when it's 5 PM, and I've been there since 8, and still have 3 more hours to go, I want to give all God has poured into me the whole time. How's that for countercultural? :)
3. No longer can I insult God with false ignorance. Why would I ever think I could get away with lying and deception? He's not all about that at all, sees right through it, and totally calls me on it! I know what I'm supposed to be doing and when to do it. I know the thoughts I have and when they don't bless the Lord. I know when my words are negative towards others. Pastor Sheila said the one thing that scares her the most is being so deceived that she doesn't make it into heaven. Day by day, that's becoming a scarier thought for myself. BUT hear me out: I don't want to be religious about this either. I WANT a relationship with Jesus. It's my part of the covenant that's not being upheld, and it's back to goal #1 - my discomfort will bring Him glory.
He wants us to be uncomfortable so we have no choice but to pour out and serve He that is the best wine. When we do, we can't pretend it was all us! No, it is JESUS we carry, serve, and pour. Then we will no longer walk in deception, but see clearly it is the Lord who receives glory.
This week, the office is closed until tomorrow (Thursday), and I am still fighting my flesh on the regular about just stopping and listening. However, today I fight with new fervor because I am rested, trusting God in areas where I hadn't the last two days. My discomfort is simply a testimony of His glory and favor in my life. He continues to provide from surprising sources, and I am grateful indeed.
So, what are your goals?
How will you choose to carry the name Jesus in 2011?
What discomfort are experiencing now that you know will bring Him glory?
Does that strike anyone else as odd - just seeing the number 2011? I mean, I knew I would live a long life, but I don't think I put together my increase in years and a chronological calendar in high school. I knew I graduated class of 1999, but for some reason, living in 2011 didn't even enter my mind. Maybe it's just me.
Anyway...
Last week, on Wednesday, Pastor Sheila let a study in the office asking us to make 3 goals for 2011. They weren't just regular resolutions - these were very specific goals.
1. How we would grow spiritually and why
2. How we would change job performance and why
3. How we would change our attitudes and why
Well, I know God has been calling me to step up my game, and I had been VERY reluctant to do so. Mostly because it's scary sometimes when it's just you and God. Not that He's scary, but the real you is scary and really hard to take in sometimes, especially when you don't know or don't deal with areas that others allude to in conversation. God brings those things up as well, and it's a lot.
So, for this study, I sat in the quiet of the church office (it was just me by around 5 or so), took that hour, and said, "God, what are the answers to these questions?"
This is what He said:
1. I am to walk out of my addiction to comfort, just like an addict to drugs or alcohol. I also will be uncomfortable. Because of my disobedience, it's now "I asked before, and you didn't listen, so this discomfort will come, and I need you to be obedient despite it."
2. "Serve the best wine at the end". I heard this from my volunteer team captains the whole weekend I volunteered for Passion 2011. It was the cry of their heart and soon became mine as well. Just like Jesus in John 2, we are to serve the best at the end. God knows at the end of day 3, I was grateful to be going home. Our team just stood on our feet for two and a half days for anywhere from 9 -14 hours. It was painful, and there were some moments when I wanted to cry. However, I saw the faces of the students, and I smiled and greeted and high fived and loved on them because I knew they were tired by day 3. It was a honor to serve them, and it is an honor to serve my employers. So, when it's 5 PM, and I've been there since 8, and still have 3 more hours to go, I want to give all God has poured into me the whole time. How's that for countercultural? :)
3. No longer can I insult God with false ignorance. Why would I ever think I could get away with lying and deception? He's not all about that at all, sees right through it, and totally calls me on it! I know what I'm supposed to be doing and when to do it. I know the thoughts I have and when they don't bless the Lord. I know when my words are negative towards others. Pastor Sheila said the one thing that scares her the most is being so deceived that she doesn't make it into heaven. Day by day, that's becoming a scarier thought for myself. BUT hear me out: I don't want to be religious about this either. I WANT a relationship with Jesus. It's my part of the covenant that's not being upheld, and it's back to goal #1 - my discomfort will bring Him glory.
He wants us to be uncomfortable so we have no choice but to pour out and serve He that is the best wine. When we do, we can't pretend it was all us! No, it is JESUS we carry, serve, and pour. Then we will no longer walk in deception, but see clearly it is the Lord who receives glory.
This week, the office is closed until tomorrow (Thursday), and I am still fighting my flesh on the regular about just stopping and listening. However, today I fight with new fervor because I am rested, trusting God in areas where I hadn't the last two days. My discomfort is simply a testimony of His glory and favor in my life. He continues to provide from surprising sources, and I am grateful indeed.
So, what are your goals?
How will you choose to carry the name Jesus in 2011?
What discomfort are experiencing now that you know will bring Him glory?
Monday, November 29, 2010
Waiting
Man, oh man... you know God is talking to you when you have to listen to the same sermon more than once. Tomorrow, part of my day at Liberty will be listening to Louie Giglio's Unwrapped sermon. Too much information to just hear it once.
What are you waiting for?
Personally, I'm waiting for answers to prayers regarding transitions, changes, and new seasons.
I'm waiting for physical evidence of supernatural victories.
Basically, I'm waiting for a baby.
First, slow down. It's not that kind of baby.
Louie said something so profound last night: God promises, a pregnancy (time of waiting) occurs, and then He delivers... every single time.
The month of December is my chance to find Jesus among the rhema and logos in my life. It's a chronological reminder of Jesus in me. I'm afraid I've missed the essence of the song "Your Love is Extravagant" over the last few months: "Your love is extravagant/Your friendship, so intimate/I find I'm moving to the rhythms of your grace/Your fragrance is intoxicating in our secret place/Spread wide in the arms of Christ is a love that covers sin/No greater love have I ever known that you consider me your friend/You've captured my heart again". I've missed the scent of His presence, the feel of His arms around me, and the gentle sound of His voice in my soul.
In September, I visited my mentor and received a word from the Lord. Since then, I personally feel Hell has chased me down day after day. To others, they would call me a wimp, lightweight, or weak, but to me, these events are life altering. Not because they're huge, but because they revolutionize, or renew, my mind.
Two more recent events are still making me change my words and thoughts. On the same day my wallet was stolen, a check was cashed in my name. I never knew about this check as it was never deposited. About two weeks ago, I looked at my bank statement, and there was a return item for $300 and a return item fee of $12 posted. Since then, I've been dealing with the bank, opening new accounts, getting a new debit card, and dealing with the police.
On Saturday, one of my kids died. When I say "my kids", it's usually a teen or child I've watched grow up at Liberty. She was in high school and needed a new heart, but she didn't make it to her surgery. Two deaths in two weeks.
What am I waiting for?
I'm waiting for answers to questions. I'm waiting for the next step to be illuminated. I'm waiting for the go ahead to move forward.
In Luke 12, Jesus talks about waiting and being ready. We're not just waiting idly, but we're working and preparing for Him, His word, and His return.
Are you waiting in a state of readiness? I know I haven't been. I've been waiting in a state of laziness. I've taken the word of "Don't fight - just go with it" way too literally. It's so literal, I don't even fight some of my words, attitudes, or actions - I just let them go, too.
I can't do that anymore - God is still expecting me to be a mirror, a moon if you will, reflecting His son, and His son is a fighter.
What are you waiting for? And what state of mind are you in while you wait?
I'm waiting for a baby God promised me earlier this year. Even though I know He intentionally withheld some of my heart's desires to test my heart, I will continue to wait in hope and faith, knowing this baby will be born.
What baby has God promised you? Will you be Sarah, trying to make a baby come forth, or Hannah, continuing to wait and trust the Lord?
Maybe some Beth Moore tomorrow... didn't get as far in the study as I wanted to :)
What are you waiting for?
Personally, I'm waiting for answers to prayers regarding transitions, changes, and new seasons.
I'm waiting for physical evidence of supernatural victories.
Basically, I'm waiting for a baby.
First, slow down. It's not that kind of baby.
Louie said something so profound last night: God promises, a pregnancy (time of waiting) occurs, and then He delivers... every single time.
The month of December is my chance to find Jesus among the rhema and logos in my life. It's a chronological reminder of Jesus in me. I'm afraid I've missed the essence of the song "Your Love is Extravagant" over the last few months: "Your love is extravagant/Your friendship, so intimate/I find I'm moving to the rhythms of your grace/Your fragrance is intoxicating in our secret place/Spread wide in the arms of Christ is a love that covers sin/No greater love have I ever known that you consider me your friend/You've captured my heart again". I've missed the scent of His presence, the feel of His arms around me, and the gentle sound of His voice in my soul.
In September, I visited my mentor and received a word from the Lord. Since then, I personally feel Hell has chased me down day after day. To others, they would call me a wimp, lightweight, or weak, but to me, these events are life altering. Not because they're huge, but because they revolutionize, or renew, my mind.
Two more recent events are still making me change my words and thoughts. On the same day my wallet was stolen, a check was cashed in my name. I never knew about this check as it was never deposited. About two weeks ago, I looked at my bank statement, and there was a return item for $300 and a return item fee of $12 posted. Since then, I've been dealing with the bank, opening new accounts, getting a new debit card, and dealing with the police.
On Saturday, one of my kids died. When I say "my kids", it's usually a teen or child I've watched grow up at Liberty. She was in high school and needed a new heart, but she didn't make it to her surgery. Two deaths in two weeks.
What am I waiting for?
I'm waiting for answers to questions. I'm waiting for the next step to be illuminated. I'm waiting for the go ahead to move forward.
In Luke 12, Jesus talks about waiting and being ready. We're not just waiting idly, but we're working and preparing for Him, His word, and His return.
Are you waiting in a state of readiness? I know I haven't been. I've been waiting in a state of laziness. I've taken the word of "Don't fight - just go with it" way too literally. It's so literal, I don't even fight some of my words, attitudes, or actions - I just let them go, too.
I can't do that anymore - God is still expecting me to be a mirror, a moon if you will, reflecting His son, and His son is a fighter.
What are you waiting for? And what state of mind are you in while you wait?
I'm waiting for a baby God promised me earlier this year. Even though I know He intentionally withheld some of my heart's desires to test my heart, I will continue to wait in hope and faith, knowing this baby will be born.
What baby has God promised you? Will you be Sarah, trying to make a baby come forth, or Hannah, continuing to wait and trust the Lord?
Maybe some Beth Moore tomorrow... didn't get as far in the study as I wanted to :)
Monday, November 15, 2010
Working Through It All
Amber died on Friday.
She and I, along with a couple other people, did everything we could together for part of our high school time.
She graduated in 1998, and we lost touch, but we still had mutual friends.
I talked to her on the phone a couple years ago, and she and I talked about finding some time to meet up.
We never did.
I knew she wasn't doing great, but she was 30.
Am I old enough to bury my girl?
The most vivid memory I have of her is from my junior year/her senior year.
She and I sang a duet for a talent show: His Eye Is On the Sparrow from the Sister Act II soundtrack, done by Lauryn Hill and Tonya Blount.
We knew we could sing, but it wasn't like them.
Mrs. Plummer helped us out. and we did our best.
I remember telling Chaz, "Sorry, but I'm singing with Amber."
I turned down "Slow Jam" by Usher and Monica.
I'm glad, though - it turned into one of my best memories.
We worked on that song, and we sang it, and it wasn't that great.
But it was so much fun.
She's gone, and I didn't say anything.
I never told her how much Jesus changed my life.
I never mentioned that Jesus' love never fails me.
I wish I had said something.
Not to get her saved, but to let her know it wasn't my love I showed her in high school.
It wasn't my compassion that caused me to invite her over, to chill with my family, to sing and dance with me, or to hang out on the weekends.
Just so she would know there was someone that loved her more than I, or anyone else, ever could.
So many songs running through my head: "Don't Waste Your Life" and "Go Hard" from Lecrae's Rebel, Israel's whole "Love God, Love People", and much more. Working through it all...
No bow yet...
She and I, along with a couple other people, did everything we could together for part of our high school time.
She graduated in 1998, and we lost touch, but we still had mutual friends.
I talked to her on the phone a couple years ago, and she and I talked about finding some time to meet up.
We never did.
I knew she wasn't doing great, but she was 30.
Am I old enough to bury my girl?
The most vivid memory I have of her is from my junior year/her senior year.
She and I sang a duet for a talent show: His Eye Is On the Sparrow from the Sister Act II soundtrack, done by Lauryn Hill and Tonya Blount.
We knew we could sing, but it wasn't like them.
Mrs. Plummer helped us out. and we did our best.
I remember telling Chaz, "Sorry, but I'm singing with Amber."
I turned down "Slow Jam" by Usher and Monica.
I'm glad, though - it turned into one of my best memories.
We worked on that song, and we sang it, and it wasn't that great.
But it was so much fun.
She's gone, and I didn't say anything.
I never told her how much Jesus changed my life.
I never mentioned that Jesus' love never fails me.
I wish I had said something.
Not to get her saved, but to let her know it wasn't my love I showed her in high school.
It wasn't my compassion that caused me to invite her over, to chill with my family, to sing and dance with me, or to hang out on the weekends.
Just so she would know there was someone that loved her more than I, or anyone else, ever could.
So many songs running through my head: "Don't Waste Your Life" and "Go Hard" from Lecrae's Rebel, Israel's whole "Love God, Love People", and much more. Working through it all...
No bow yet...
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