Man, oh man... you know God is talking to you when you have to listen to the same sermon more than once. Tomorrow, part of my day at Liberty will be listening to Louie Giglio's Unwrapped sermon. Too much information to just hear it once.
What are you waiting for?
Personally, I'm waiting for answers to prayers regarding transitions, changes, and new seasons.
I'm waiting for physical evidence of supernatural victories.
Basically, I'm waiting for a baby.
First, slow down. It's not that kind of baby.
Louie said something so profound last night: God promises, a pregnancy (time of waiting) occurs, and then He delivers... every single time.
The month of December is my chance to find Jesus among the rhema and logos in my life. It's a chronological reminder of Jesus in me. I'm afraid I've missed the essence of the song "Your Love is Extravagant" over the last few months: "Your love is extravagant/Your friendship, so intimate/I find I'm moving to the rhythms of your grace/Your fragrance is intoxicating in our secret place/Spread wide in the arms of Christ is a love that covers sin/No greater love have I ever known that you consider me your friend/You've captured my heart again". I've missed the scent of His presence, the feel of His arms around me, and the gentle sound of His voice in my soul.
In September, I visited my mentor and received a word from the Lord. Since then, I personally feel Hell has chased me down day after day. To others, they would call me a wimp, lightweight, or weak, but to me, these events are life altering. Not because they're huge, but because they revolutionize, or renew, my mind.
Two more recent events are still making me change my words and thoughts. On the same day my wallet was stolen, a check was cashed in my name. I never knew about this check as it was never deposited. About two weeks ago, I looked at my bank statement, and there was a return item for $300 and a return item fee of $12 posted. Since then, I've been dealing with the bank, opening new accounts, getting a new debit card, and dealing with the police.
On Saturday, one of my kids died. When I say "my kids", it's usually a teen or child I've watched grow up at Liberty. She was in high school and needed a new heart, but she didn't make it to her surgery. Two deaths in two weeks.
What am I waiting for?
I'm waiting for answers to questions. I'm waiting for the next step to be illuminated. I'm waiting for the go ahead to move forward.
In Luke 12, Jesus talks about waiting and being ready. We're not just waiting idly, but we're working and preparing for Him, His word, and His return.
Are you waiting in a state of readiness? I know I haven't been. I've been waiting in a state of laziness. I've taken the word of "Don't fight - just go with it" way too literally. It's so literal, I don't even fight some of my words, attitudes, or actions - I just let them go, too.
I can't do that anymore - God is still expecting me to be a mirror, a moon if you will, reflecting His son, and His son is a fighter.
What are you waiting for? And what state of mind are you in while you wait?
I'm waiting for a baby God promised me earlier this year. Even though I know He intentionally withheld some of my heart's desires to test my heart, I will continue to wait in hope and faith, knowing this baby will be born.
What baby has God promised you? Will you be Sarah, trying to make a baby come forth, or Hannah, continuing to wait and trust the Lord?
Maybe some Beth Moore tomorrow... didn't get as far in the study as I wanted to :)
Monday, November 29, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
Working Through It All
Amber died on Friday.
She and I, along with a couple other people, did everything we could together for part of our high school time.
She graduated in 1998, and we lost touch, but we still had mutual friends.
I talked to her on the phone a couple years ago, and she and I talked about finding some time to meet up.
We never did.
I knew she wasn't doing great, but she was 30.
Am I old enough to bury my girl?
The most vivid memory I have of her is from my junior year/her senior year.
She and I sang a duet for a talent show: His Eye Is On the Sparrow from the Sister Act II soundtrack, done by Lauryn Hill and Tonya Blount.
We knew we could sing, but it wasn't like them.
Mrs. Plummer helped us out. and we did our best.
I remember telling Chaz, "Sorry, but I'm singing with Amber."
I turned down "Slow Jam" by Usher and Monica.
I'm glad, though - it turned into one of my best memories.
We worked on that song, and we sang it, and it wasn't that great.
But it was so much fun.
She's gone, and I didn't say anything.
I never told her how much Jesus changed my life.
I never mentioned that Jesus' love never fails me.
I wish I had said something.
Not to get her saved, but to let her know it wasn't my love I showed her in high school.
It wasn't my compassion that caused me to invite her over, to chill with my family, to sing and dance with me, or to hang out on the weekends.
Just so she would know there was someone that loved her more than I, or anyone else, ever could.
So many songs running through my head: "Don't Waste Your Life" and "Go Hard" from Lecrae's Rebel, Israel's whole "Love God, Love People", and much more. Working through it all...
No bow yet...
She and I, along with a couple other people, did everything we could together for part of our high school time.
She graduated in 1998, and we lost touch, but we still had mutual friends.
I talked to her on the phone a couple years ago, and she and I talked about finding some time to meet up.
We never did.
I knew she wasn't doing great, but she was 30.
Am I old enough to bury my girl?
The most vivid memory I have of her is from my junior year/her senior year.
She and I sang a duet for a talent show: His Eye Is On the Sparrow from the Sister Act II soundtrack, done by Lauryn Hill and Tonya Blount.
We knew we could sing, but it wasn't like them.
Mrs. Plummer helped us out. and we did our best.
I remember telling Chaz, "Sorry, but I'm singing with Amber."
I turned down "Slow Jam" by Usher and Monica.
I'm glad, though - it turned into one of my best memories.
We worked on that song, and we sang it, and it wasn't that great.
But it was so much fun.
She's gone, and I didn't say anything.
I never told her how much Jesus changed my life.
I never mentioned that Jesus' love never fails me.
I wish I had said something.
Not to get her saved, but to let her know it wasn't my love I showed her in high school.
It wasn't my compassion that caused me to invite her over, to chill with my family, to sing and dance with me, or to hang out on the weekends.
Just so she would know there was someone that loved her more than I, or anyone else, ever could.
So many songs running through my head: "Don't Waste Your Life" and "Go Hard" from Lecrae's Rebel, Israel's whole "Love God, Love People", and much more. Working through it all...
No bow yet...
Saturday, October 23, 2010
What next, God?
I know my title sounds a little harsh and sarcastic, but it's not. I promise.
It's an inquiry, a question stemming from curiosity and maybe a little paranoia.
Let's recap:
Week 1: taxes, glasses, Once Upon a Mattress, Project Dance, and car repairs
Week 2: meditation and pain
Week 3: clarity, confusion, CDs, and "Car, meet your new home... the garage" (also new car for the younger sis and start of grad school for older sis)
Week 4: Dancing, painting, the start of 500 folders, and partying/worshiping with 116 Clique (for real, shawty!)
Week 5: Dull as anything... until Friday.
Do you know the first thing that runs through your mind when something valuable is taken?
Here's what went through mine: "You're kidding, right?"
Have you ever felt superhuman? Like the things that affect other people can't possibly affect you? Until you realize you're human, too... just like everyone else, you're susceptible to bad attitudes, pimples, aches, pains, and bad decisions.
My wallet was stolen on Friday afternoon. The bank called me and asked if I made a couple purchases that afternoon. Think about my days: starting around 8:15 until whenever, Tuesday - Friday, I'm basically posted up at Liberty Church. I told them, "No, I've been at work all day."
Evidently, my wallet made its way out of my purse and into the hands of someone in need. It hurts... there were important things in there. Nothing that would make anyone else sad, but things held onto for different reasons.
I replaced my license, got some money to get me through the weekend til I can get a temporary debit card on Monday, and also about to file a fraud report for my credit report as well. (Getting Mom/my personal paralegal to help me with that.)
And all I can say is, "What next, God?"
Where are you taking me?
What is this new season?
Why was I so violently thrust into this new beginning?
Yeah, I have a lot of questions, but I'm not asking why me. I know why me: because there is a greater plan and more in-depth meaning to this that anyone can comprehend here on earth. God is moving things in the spiritual realm that I couldn't even imagine possible. There's this saying God gave me when I ventured into something new a couple years ago: Everything I ever thought was impossible is now possible, for nothing is impossible for God.
He said become what I need you to be. He has placed a standard before me; He has put expectations on the table, and He waits for them to be met. If it's not done in His timing, He brings about the changes to put it back on course.
So, my response: bring it. The questions I had about all these different experiences over the last few weeks sum up into one big question: "What is your will, God?"
Don't fight it; just go with it.
If our God is for us, then who can ever stop us? And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
Week 6, bring it. I'm not fighting people or circumstances or things - it's between my Father and my enemy.
My Father always wins.
It's an inquiry, a question stemming from curiosity and maybe a little paranoia.
Let's recap:
Week 1: taxes, glasses, Once Upon a Mattress, Project Dance, and car repairs
Week 2: meditation and pain
Week 3: clarity, confusion, CDs, and "Car, meet your new home... the garage" (also new car for the younger sis and start of grad school for older sis)
Week 4: Dancing, painting, the start of 500 folders, and partying/worshiping with 116 Clique (for real, shawty!)
Week 5: Dull as anything... until Friday.
Do you know the first thing that runs through your mind when something valuable is taken?
Here's what went through mine: "You're kidding, right?"
Have you ever felt superhuman? Like the things that affect other people can't possibly affect you? Until you realize you're human, too... just like everyone else, you're susceptible to bad attitudes, pimples, aches, pains, and bad decisions.
My wallet was stolen on Friday afternoon. The bank called me and asked if I made a couple purchases that afternoon. Think about my days: starting around 8:15 until whenever, Tuesday - Friday, I'm basically posted up at Liberty Church. I told them, "No, I've been at work all day."
Evidently, my wallet made its way out of my purse and into the hands of someone in need. It hurts... there were important things in there. Nothing that would make anyone else sad, but things held onto for different reasons.
I replaced my license, got some money to get me through the weekend til I can get a temporary debit card on Monday, and also about to file a fraud report for my credit report as well. (Getting Mom/my personal paralegal to help me with that.)
And all I can say is, "What next, God?"
Where are you taking me?
What is this new season?
Why was I so violently thrust into this new beginning?
Yeah, I have a lot of questions, but I'm not asking why me. I know why me: because there is a greater plan and more in-depth meaning to this that anyone can comprehend here on earth. God is moving things in the spiritual realm that I couldn't even imagine possible. There's this saying God gave me when I ventured into something new a couple years ago: Everything I ever thought was impossible is now possible, for nothing is impossible for God.
He said become what I need you to be. He has placed a standard before me; He has put expectations on the table, and He waits for them to be met. If it's not done in His timing, He brings about the changes to put it back on course.
So, my response: bring it. The questions I had about all these different experiences over the last few weeks sum up into one big question: "What is your will, God?"
Don't fight it; just go with it.
If our God is for us, then who can ever stop us? And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
Week 6, bring it. I'm not fighting people or circumstances or things - it's between my Father and my enemy.
My Father always wins.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Who am I?
This morning, Pastor Sheila asked us to describe who we are in the kingdom. She asked, "If I was going to pick fruit from you, what would it be?" Everyone bears fruit -whether a little or a lot, ripe or overripe or underdeveloped.
I called myself "the voice of reason". Others called it wisdom (uhh....). I know people come to me for counsel, and I pray I encourage them as well as assist them in processing and all that. I also have people in my life that, when they let me know what's up, if I feel hesitant or iffy about something, they're at least open to hearing it... sometimes.
Well, what happens when that voice... isn't able to speak?
I don't even know if that makes sense.
I hope the people in my life know that I truly love them dearly, and I don't want to offend or judge.
When do you move from "the voice of reason" to "control freak"? How much am I really willing to trust God to do?
I want you to see the truth. I want you to know there really is only one way to the Father. I haven't figured it all out. I don't want you to walk that road. I don't want you to even venture down that detour.
I don't have it all together, and I'm FAR from perfect. I'm not Jesus. I can't save you. I can't make you see, understand, live, or conceive. I can't control you, even though I want to. I can't dictate, mandate, require, or force.
I have to trust the precious Holy Spirit to speak to your heart, bring conviction, and speak truth.
I'm not always the vessel He chooses to use.
How much do I trust you, Father? Even when I see those I love heading toward destruction or leaning away from you? Is it my place to stop them or do I let go? Do I say something, or do I refrain?
You told me, "Go with it. Don't fight it."
So, Your kingdom come, Father, and Your will be done.
Those I love - I will continue to pray and will say what He wants me to say.
Am I the "voice of reason" or wise person others perceive me to be?
The best definition is not who you say you are, but how others define you.
Wisdom in this situation - trust the Father. He knows.
I called myself "the voice of reason". Others called it wisdom (uhh....). I know people come to me for counsel, and I pray I encourage them as well as assist them in processing and all that. I also have people in my life that, when they let me know what's up, if I feel hesitant or iffy about something, they're at least open to hearing it... sometimes.
Well, what happens when that voice... isn't able to speak?
I don't even know if that makes sense.
I hope the people in my life know that I truly love them dearly, and I don't want to offend or judge.
When do you move from "the voice of reason" to "control freak"? How much am I really willing to trust God to do?
I want you to see the truth. I want you to know there really is only one way to the Father. I haven't figured it all out. I don't want you to walk that road. I don't want you to even venture down that detour.
I don't have it all together, and I'm FAR from perfect. I'm not Jesus. I can't save you. I can't make you see, understand, live, or conceive. I can't control you, even though I want to. I can't dictate, mandate, require, or force.
I have to trust the precious Holy Spirit to speak to your heart, bring conviction, and speak truth.
I'm not always the vessel He chooses to use.
How much do I trust you, Father? Even when I see those I love heading toward destruction or leaning away from you? Is it my place to stop them or do I let go? Do I say something, or do I refrain?
You told me, "Go with it. Don't fight it."
So, Your kingdom come, Father, and Your will be done.
Those I love - I will continue to pray and will say what He wants me to say.
Am I the "voice of reason" or wise person others perceive me to be?
The best definition is not who you say you are, but how others define you.
Wisdom in this situation - trust the Father. He knows.
Monday, September 27, 2010
The Next 5 weeks... began yesterday
So, I love how God says something, and it totally changes your perspective.
"The next 6 weeks of your life is going to bring some things. Don't fight it; just go with it."
Week 1: car needs to be fixed, tax payments set up, glasses break resulting in contacts and new glasses, reached a new place in Singles Worship, go to see "Once Upon A Mattress" in which my cousin (who is gay) plays a gay man, realized I'm not relevant to anyone under 21 anymore, went to Centennial Park and watched some amazing dancers and some amazing worshipers with dance experience and expertise, realized not everyone (or animal) is going to like me, attended Liberty Church on Sun AM and Passion City Church in the PM with family time in the middle.
To most, nothing overly shocking. I mean, I'm still alive, still have a home, still have all my limbs, and still even look cute :)
What do you possibly have for week 2, Father?
A friend that loves Jesus and has such a beautiful heart for others... practicing Buddhist mediation. Also, the lovely weather change in GA is messing with my sinus cavities. That's just day 1.
I'm also only allowed to read Song of Solomon, Romans, Hebrews, James, Jude, and memorize 5 specific chapters - Rm 12, Gal 5, Eph 6, and recap Is 61 & 1 Cor 13. I'm also reading with PCC's Journey to 515.
I have certain physical things to do everyday, and I have a certain amount of water to drink daily.
Apparently, I am now "fasting". I don't really mind saying this since Emily's really the only one that reads this anyway :)
The crazy part is I look forward to everything that's coming. I know God hadn't prepared me, I would've freaked out about so many things in the last week. But I realized God has been speaking to me about a couple things already. I don't have to justify my heart for teens and young adults. He's calling me to a new way to minister to those he places on my heart. Just like with my car, taxes, and glasses - no, I'm not out of debt, but my priorities are lining up according to His desire. He is setting me up for success, and I trust my Father to provide for me. Even this friend that is trying something new in meditation... well, I'm still working through that. I guess my response is PLEASE BE MEDITATING ON THE WORD!!!
Anyway, reading with PCC is so great, and the scripture for this week is just right. I love how the body of Christ can walk together, even though we are in different buildings and places. So, here we go:
Isaiah 40:1-2, 8
Comfort, oh comfort my people, says your God.
Speak softly and tenderly to Jerusalem,
but also make it very clear
That she has served her sentence,
that her sin is taken care of - forgiven!
She's been punished enough and more than enough,
and now it's over and done with.
True, the grass withers and the wildflowers fade,
but our God's Word stands firm and forever. (The Message)
The next 5 weeks will contain some things that will probably send my head reeling. I will more than likely experience something mind-blowing, gut-wrenching, or just jaw-dropping.
And through those things, I am in a place where I can go to my Father boldly, I can be affirmed in my faith through the Holy Spirit, and I can laugh or cry with my Savior, brother, redeemer, and friend. The best part is His Word stands firm and forever. This declaration of forgiveness will always cover me, and in return, I give my life in allegiance and obedience.
It makes me think of "King Arthur". BTW, I really dig this movie, and not because of the dark, brooding, yet extremely handsome Ioan Gruffudd. Moving on... the men that followed Arthur went to the death, proclaiming him as their leader. They remained faithful, no matter the fear they battled or fury they felt.
Over the next 5 weeks, God and I will travel a path only He knows how to navigate. I choose to be faithful, no matter what fear I face or frustration I experience.
I am forgiven, that is eternal truth, and I lift my eyes, expectation, and hands to the living God.
Do what you will.
"The next 6 weeks of your life is going to bring some things. Don't fight it; just go with it."
Week 1: car needs to be fixed, tax payments set up, glasses break resulting in contacts and new glasses, reached a new place in Singles Worship, go to see "Once Upon A Mattress" in which my cousin (who is gay) plays a gay man, realized I'm not relevant to anyone under 21 anymore, went to Centennial Park and watched some amazing dancers and some amazing worshipers with dance experience and expertise, realized not everyone (or animal) is going to like me, attended Liberty Church on Sun AM and Passion City Church in the PM with family time in the middle.
To most, nothing overly shocking. I mean, I'm still alive, still have a home, still have all my limbs, and still even look cute :)
What do you possibly have for week 2, Father?
A friend that loves Jesus and has such a beautiful heart for others... practicing Buddhist mediation. Also, the lovely weather change in GA is messing with my sinus cavities. That's just day 1.
I'm also only allowed to read Song of Solomon, Romans, Hebrews, James, Jude, and memorize 5 specific chapters - Rm 12, Gal 5, Eph 6, and recap Is 61 & 1 Cor 13. I'm also reading with PCC's Journey to 515.
I have certain physical things to do everyday, and I have a certain amount of water to drink daily.
Apparently, I am now "fasting". I don't really mind saying this since Emily's really the only one that reads this anyway :)
The crazy part is I look forward to everything that's coming. I know God hadn't prepared me, I would've freaked out about so many things in the last week. But I realized God has been speaking to me about a couple things already. I don't have to justify my heart for teens and young adults. He's calling me to a new way to minister to those he places on my heart. Just like with my car, taxes, and glasses - no, I'm not out of debt, but my priorities are lining up according to His desire. He is setting me up for success, and I trust my Father to provide for me. Even this friend that is trying something new in meditation... well, I'm still working through that. I guess my response is PLEASE BE MEDITATING ON THE WORD!!!
Anyway, reading with PCC is so great, and the scripture for this week is just right. I love how the body of Christ can walk together, even though we are in different buildings and places. So, here we go:
Isaiah 40:1-2, 8
Comfort, oh comfort my people, says your God.
Speak softly and tenderly to Jerusalem,
but also make it very clear
That she has served her sentence,
that her sin is taken care of - forgiven!
She's been punished enough and more than enough,
and now it's over and done with.
True, the grass withers and the wildflowers fade,
but our God's Word stands firm and forever. (The Message)
The next 5 weeks will contain some things that will probably send my head reeling. I will more than likely experience something mind-blowing, gut-wrenching, or just jaw-dropping.
And through those things, I am in a place where I can go to my Father boldly, I can be affirmed in my faith through the Holy Spirit, and I can laugh or cry with my Savior, brother, redeemer, and friend. The best part is His Word stands firm and forever. This declaration of forgiveness will always cover me, and in return, I give my life in allegiance and obedience.
It makes me think of "King Arthur". BTW, I really dig this movie, and not because of the dark, brooding, yet extremely handsome Ioan Gruffudd. Moving on... the men that followed Arthur went to the death, proclaiming him as their leader. They remained faithful, no matter the fear they battled or fury they felt.
Over the next 5 weeks, God and I will travel a path only He knows how to navigate. I choose to be faithful, no matter what fear I face or frustration I experience.
I am forgiven, that is eternal truth, and I lift my eyes, expectation, and hands to the living God.
Do what you will.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Becoming Who You Are
Everyone tries to be better –
A better person,
A better mother or father,
A better employer.
It’s our goal, our highest aspiration,
It’s what we live for.
But we never achieve it.
There’s always someone that’s better –
More stuff, more money,
More control, more power,
More popular, more loved.
But we keep pushing for it,
Striving to become better.
We believe in becoming better people,
We become who we were meant to be.
CEO, president, American Idol,
Best teacher, most successful salesperson,
Most friendly, most likely to be famous.
So many situations, and we allow them to
Become our identity,
Define who we are,
Tell the world “this is me”.
But, honestly, are we really better?
Or just more experienced?
Do we really learn from these things
Or are they just markers in the race?
Did you ever stop to think that
Becoming who you are
Is becoming who I AM is?
I AM is holy
I AM is a sacrifice.
I AM is love.
There is so much more
To who you are
Than these titles and goals.
Father, help us see and know
That becoming who we are
Is all about becoming who
YOU ARE.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
What Can I Give To You?
So, it's Thursday.
Sunday, a mentor told me things would be happening over the next 6 weeks. He said just go with it, not to fight it. I knew it was from the Lord because it confirmed something God spoke to me in the past. It also stirred up questions in me, but a word of knowledge usually does.
Yesterday, my glasses broke.
About a month ago, the check engine light came on and went off... then came back on and went off... every day.
6 months ago, I was dreading April 15 because I knew I wasn't ready for taxes.
All this, on top of scaling back in pay and work as well as personal issues...
I still choose to say, "Blessed be your name". I still pick you, Jesus.
But I know I can give you; I just haven't yet.
You want my trust.
You want my time.
You want my heart.
Lord, I gave you my heart; I gave you my soul. I live for you alone.
You won't relent until you have it all; my heart is yours.
Seek first the kingdom of God and all His righteousness, then all things will be added to you.
Jehovah Jireh - the God who provides
You have my heart.
You have my trust.
What can I give to you? My time.
What kind of relationship flourishes when there's no time spent with each other? What kind of marriage is successful if one is always running after someone or something other than their mate? What kind of friendship lasts when those involved don't stop, listen, and talk? What kind of relationship does a daughter have with a father she never talks to, gleans advice from, clings to when she's happy or sad, or doesn't even bother getting to know?
"Be still, (insert name here) and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."
When we give God the opportunity to be God by waiting, being still, spending time, listening, and loving, we see his hand move in our lives in ways we never thought possible.
He wants my time.
Take a minute and ask... what can I give to you?
Even better, ask Him this: What do you need to take from me so I can focus on you?
Ask, and then... let Him take it. He took away my security in financial things: car acting crazy, taxes due to the government, broken glasses, and less work. That's HUGE for me. I'm the one that never asks for help, never asks to borrow, and now I have to trust God to multiply my pennies.
But it got my attention, and that's what He wants. My attention, my time, my focus.
So, what does God need to take away from you?
Sunday, a mentor told me things would be happening over the next 6 weeks. He said just go with it, not to fight it. I knew it was from the Lord because it confirmed something God spoke to me in the past. It also stirred up questions in me, but a word of knowledge usually does.
Yesterday, my glasses broke.
About a month ago, the check engine light came on and went off... then came back on and went off... every day.
6 months ago, I was dreading April 15 because I knew I wasn't ready for taxes.
All this, on top of scaling back in pay and work as well as personal issues...
I still choose to say, "Blessed be your name". I still pick you, Jesus.
But I know I can give you; I just haven't yet.
You want my trust.
You want my time.
You want my heart.
Lord, I gave you my heart; I gave you my soul. I live for you alone.
You won't relent until you have it all; my heart is yours.
Seek first the kingdom of God and all His righteousness, then all things will be added to you.
Jehovah Jireh - the God who provides
You have my heart.
You have my trust.
What can I give to you? My time.
What kind of relationship flourishes when there's no time spent with each other? What kind of marriage is successful if one is always running after someone or something other than their mate? What kind of friendship lasts when those involved don't stop, listen, and talk? What kind of relationship does a daughter have with a father she never talks to, gleans advice from, clings to when she's happy or sad, or doesn't even bother getting to know?
"Be still, (insert name here) and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."
When we give God the opportunity to be God by waiting, being still, spending time, listening, and loving, we see his hand move in our lives in ways we never thought possible.
He wants my time.
Take a minute and ask... what can I give to you?
Even better, ask Him this: What do you need to take from me so I can focus on you?
Ask, and then... let Him take it. He took away my security in financial things: car acting crazy, taxes due to the government, broken glasses, and less work. That's HUGE for me. I'm the one that never asks for help, never asks to borrow, and now I have to trust God to multiply my pennies.
But it got my attention, and that's what He wants. My attention, my time, my focus.
So, what does God need to take away from you?
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Work in Progress
One hour.
One hour left in today.
Do you know what happened today last year?
Tears, sobs, brokenness, and heartache.
"Please don't let it happen.
Please let me be wrong.
Please let this message resounding in my head be a lie!"
One hour.
One hour left, and then it's tomorrow.
Do you know what happened one year ago tomorrow?
"It's not you; it's me.
It just wouldn't work.
This just isn't right."
One hour.
One hour left to praise you for today.
Do you know what happened today?
I live for you.
I desire to know you better.
Your love is extravagant.
One hour.
One hour, and then it's tomorrow.
Do you know what will happen tomorrow?
"I will celebrate,
Sing unto the Lord!
I will sing to Him a new song!"
I'm still a work in progress - learning to let go and see God in every situation.
Even the situations that bring pain and ache to my soul.
I'm still a work in progress - thanking God for His sovereignty and goodness.
For He knows what's best for me better than I know what's best for me.
I'm still a work in progress - giving God all I am and all I have.
He disciplines and corrects those He loves, esp. when they don't give everything.
All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.
The wages of sin is death,
BUT the gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.
I'm still a work in progress - I don't get it right every time.
I'm trusting you, though, my Father, for your way and will in my life and the lives of others around me.
JCH
One hour left in today.
Do you know what happened today last year?
Tears, sobs, brokenness, and heartache.
"Please don't let it happen.
Please let me be wrong.
Please let this message resounding in my head be a lie!"
One hour.
One hour left, and then it's tomorrow.
Do you know what happened one year ago tomorrow?
"It's not you; it's me.
It just wouldn't work.
This just isn't right."
One hour.
One hour left to praise you for today.
Do you know what happened today?
I live for you.
I desire to know you better.
Your love is extravagant.
One hour.
One hour, and then it's tomorrow.
Do you know what will happen tomorrow?
"I will celebrate,
Sing unto the Lord!
I will sing to Him a new song!"
I'm still a work in progress - learning to let go and see God in every situation.
Even the situations that bring pain and ache to my soul.
I'm still a work in progress - thanking God for His sovereignty and goodness.
For He knows what's best for me better than I know what's best for me.
I'm still a work in progress - giving God all I am and all I have.
He disciplines and corrects those He loves, esp. when they don't give everything.
All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.
The wages of sin is death,
BUT the gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.
I'm still a work in progress - I don't get it right every time.
I'm trusting you, though, my Father, for your way and will in my life and the lives of others around me.
JCH
Friday, August 27, 2010
Am I Less Than Because I Didn't Do It?
This is long, but I promise I'm going somewhere. Are you up for the journey?
My father is from Albany, GA, and my mother is from Bronx, NY. My three sisters and I were born at Vandenberg AFB, CA. Both my parents served in the USAF, and this fact kept us on the move for the first half of my life. So, already, it would seem our family would be different.
When I was about 4, we moved to Grand Forks AFB, ND. We were one of very few black families, but it didn't seem to be an issue to me. We went to school, played with our friends, and went to church. I didn't really get the whole God, church thing, but Sunday School was fun, and I loved family camp during the summers. I remember the beginning of getting easily heated and a rebellious streak.
Our next assignment was Barksdale AFB in Louisiana. We lived there for four years. It was during this time I developed a shorter fuse/temper, fought with my sisters and kids at school, talked back, experienced "inappropriate touch" by a cousin, was introduced to pornography by a "friend", began a struggle with depression, and hated myself for not being on the A honor roll every 9 weeks. It was also during this time when I read the Old Testament and decided God was a God of wrath. I was too afraid to read the New Testament because I didn't believe I deserved the grace of Jesus' message. I read Revelation and couldn't sleep. I knew my life was messed up, and I didn't know what to do.
All this time, my family was involved in our church. I went to Sunday School and knew the answers. I went to service and acted like I was paying attention. I did Vacation Bible School, sang the songs, did the hand motions, and even prayed in public. I listened to Psalty the Singing Songbook. I watched Superbook, the Flying House, Colby, The Donut Man, and Greatest Adventures - Stories from the Bible.
I was 12 when we moved to Minot AFB, ND.
By this time, I thought I had to be perfect. I thought no matter what, how hard I tried, how much I worked, I'd never be good enough, but I tried anyway. I played sports, sang in choir, studied and aced everything, and strove to be the one everyone saw instead of the one everyone overlooked in favor of someone else. Then, there was the ONE.
How I wanted him to notice me. How I wanted him to pick me. How I invested so much in a hope and a wish.
We left MAFB right after my 14th birthday and headed to Atlanta. I left MAFB with a broken heart, a huge insecurity about being back in the south, and even more head knowledge about God than before. Yeah, we were still active in church. We sang specials and in the choir, did Sunday School, talked to our friends and invited them to church. Does that stop us from striving for acceptance? Does that stop us from looking for peace? It didn't for me. I still carried the hurt from before we got to Minot, and 2 years of living that way only compounded my soul's burdens.
Wheeler High School in 1995 is the scariest place I've ever been in my life. I didn't know what to think, how to act, what to say, who to talk to, and it all barraged at one time.
The next four years of my life are a blur now, but some instances stand out. I remember my first friend. She was the first person to talk to me in three months. So many people thought she was strange, but I was grateful. She introduced me to my chorus teacher, which set me on a path that I still walk today. I remember my first choir solo as one of three freshman in concert choir, something that didn't happen then. I remember getting my first A in high school. I remember my first show - My Fair Lady - and the torrential rain that tried to stop our baby musical theater program from maturation. I remember teaching elementary age kids to read. I remember getting involved in FCA, Theater, Chorus, and developing my writing skills. I remember graduating and being proud of my accomplishments.
I remember the first guy I liked, and how I thought I was wrong because I held on to the hope of the guy up north. I remember how I broke when I found out the guy up north thought I was a joke. I remember fights with girls in the hallway, screaming all kinds of words that a young lady shouldn't use or know. I remember being at parties with my friends and getting high from THEIR smoking. I remember lying, sneaking, manipulating, yelling, rebelling, and demanding. I remember learning lyrics to songs I knew were demeaning. I remember people I knew killing themselves. I remember conversations with friends (guys and girls) that were obscene and contained too many innuendos. I remember graduating with regrets and pain.
I remember Liberty Church and the Lighthouse, my home away from home and saving grace. I remember going to my first camp and not knowing God the way these other kids knew Him. I knew of Him, but I didn't know Him. I remember speaking in tongues for the first time and how it BLEW my mind. I remember physically feeling the Spirit bring me to my knees and being completely unable to stand in His presence. I remember finally feeling free after being baptized by my youth pastor. I remember graduating with purpose and intent.
Let jump forward 10 years. Since then, I graduated from college, worked a couple jobs (steadily now), traveled across half the country, dealt with a huge blow to our family, fell in love and had my heart broken, and now here I am, at 29, a sinner that struggles with addictions, depression, insecurity, and brokenness.
Why did I write this? Because this morning I woke up feeling completely unqualified for ministry. I woke up feeling completely irrelevant, out of touch, ineffective, I've lost touch with the age group God's called me to love, and they all look at me like I'm old, bitter, and legalistic. I woke up thinking "They're going through stuff I never dealt with. Who am I to say anything?"
Please hear me out: no, I don't have to dig through sexual partners, hours of being high on pot or crack or meth, or nights of being drunk beyond recognition, but yes, I have to dig through people that have been eternally broken and killed by my words, hours of sitting in the darkness fighting the urge to die, and nights of pictures and images that are forever burned into my mind.
And yes, I grew up in the church - my whole life.
Don't get it twisted: God is very real to me, and I am very serious about the role He plays in my life. I am redeemed and saved by the blood of the Lamb. I am a daughter of the King, and I am becoming who HE wants me to be.
My heart breaks for the next generation of the church... and I feel like I'm helpless to do anything.
So, am I less than because I didn't do it?
Am I irrelevant because my life isn't full of bad "outer" decisions?
Tonya Cobb really helped put a bow on this one: a person's life isn't their qualification for ministry - their heart for the Lord and his people qualifies them. He calls, equips, and prepares those He has great plans for, and He stays faithful to those faithful to Him.
My father is from Albany, GA, and my mother is from Bronx, NY. My three sisters and I were born at Vandenberg AFB, CA. Both my parents served in the USAF, and this fact kept us on the move for the first half of my life. So, already, it would seem our family would be different.
When I was about 4, we moved to Grand Forks AFB, ND. We were one of very few black families, but it didn't seem to be an issue to me. We went to school, played with our friends, and went to church. I didn't really get the whole God, church thing, but Sunday School was fun, and I loved family camp during the summers. I remember the beginning of getting easily heated and a rebellious streak.
Our next assignment was Barksdale AFB in Louisiana. We lived there for four years. It was during this time I developed a shorter fuse/temper, fought with my sisters and kids at school, talked back, experienced "inappropriate touch" by a cousin, was introduced to pornography by a "friend", began a struggle with depression, and hated myself for not being on the A honor roll every 9 weeks. It was also during this time when I read the Old Testament and decided God was a God of wrath. I was too afraid to read the New Testament because I didn't believe I deserved the grace of Jesus' message. I read Revelation and couldn't sleep. I knew my life was messed up, and I didn't know what to do.
All this time, my family was involved in our church. I went to Sunday School and knew the answers. I went to service and acted like I was paying attention. I did Vacation Bible School, sang the songs, did the hand motions, and even prayed in public. I listened to Psalty the Singing Songbook. I watched Superbook, the Flying House, Colby, The Donut Man, and Greatest Adventures - Stories from the Bible.
I was 12 when we moved to Minot AFB, ND.
By this time, I thought I had to be perfect. I thought no matter what, how hard I tried, how much I worked, I'd never be good enough, but I tried anyway. I played sports, sang in choir, studied and aced everything, and strove to be the one everyone saw instead of the one everyone overlooked in favor of someone else. Then, there was the ONE.
How I wanted him to notice me. How I wanted him to pick me. How I invested so much in a hope and a wish.
We left MAFB right after my 14th birthday and headed to Atlanta. I left MAFB with a broken heart, a huge insecurity about being back in the south, and even more head knowledge about God than before. Yeah, we were still active in church. We sang specials and in the choir, did Sunday School, talked to our friends and invited them to church. Does that stop us from striving for acceptance? Does that stop us from looking for peace? It didn't for me. I still carried the hurt from before we got to Minot, and 2 years of living that way only compounded my soul's burdens.
Wheeler High School in 1995 is the scariest place I've ever been in my life. I didn't know what to think, how to act, what to say, who to talk to, and it all barraged at one time.
The next four years of my life are a blur now, but some instances stand out. I remember my first friend. She was the first person to talk to me in three months. So many people thought she was strange, but I was grateful. She introduced me to my chorus teacher, which set me on a path that I still walk today. I remember my first choir solo as one of three freshman in concert choir, something that didn't happen then. I remember getting my first A in high school. I remember my first show - My Fair Lady - and the torrential rain that tried to stop our baby musical theater program from maturation. I remember teaching elementary age kids to read. I remember getting involved in FCA, Theater, Chorus, and developing my writing skills. I remember graduating and being proud of my accomplishments.
I remember the first guy I liked, and how I thought I was wrong because I held on to the hope of the guy up north. I remember how I broke when I found out the guy up north thought I was a joke. I remember fights with girls in the hallway, screaming all kinds of words that a young lady shouldn't use or know. I remember being at parties with my friends and getting high from THEIR smoking. I remember lying, sneaking, manipulating, yelling, rebelling, and demanding. I remember learning lyrics to songs I knew were demeaning. I remember people I knew killing themselves. I remember conversations with friends (guys and girls) that were obscene and contained too many innuendos. I remember graduating with regrets and pain.
I remember Liberty Church and the Lighthouse, my home away from home and saving grace. I remember going to my first camp and not knowing God the way these other kids knew Him. I knew of Him, but I didn't know Him. I remember speaking in tongues for the first time and how it BLEW my mind. I remember physically feeling the Spirit bring me to my knees and being completely unable to stand in His presence. I remember finally feeling free after being baptized by my youth pastor. I remember graduating with purpose and intent.
Let jump forward 10 years. Since then, I graduated from college, worked a couple jobs (steadily now), traveled across half the country, dealt with a huge blow to our family, fell in love and had my heart broken, and now here I am, at 29, a sinner that struggles with addictions, depression, insecurity, and brokenness.
Why did I write this? Because this morning I woke up feeling completely unqualified for ministry. I woke up feeling completely irrelevant, out of touch, ineffective, I've lost touch with the age group God's called me to love, and they all look at me like I'm old, bitter, and legalistic. I woke up thinking "They're going through stuff I never dealt with. Who am I to say anything?"
Please hear me out: no, I don't have to dig through sexual partners, hours of being high on pot or crack or meth, or nights of being drunk beyond recognition, but yes, I have to dig through people that have been eternally broken and killed by my words, hours of sitting in the darkness fighting the urge to die, and nights of pictures and images that are forever burned into my mind.
And yes, I grew up in the church - my whole life.
Don't get it twisted: God is very real to me, and I am very serious about the role He plays in my life. I am redeemed and saved by the blood of the Lamb. I am a daughter of the King, and I am becoming who HE wants me to be.
My heart breaks for the next generation of the church... and I feel like I'm helpless to do anything.
So, am I less than because I didn't do it?
Am I irrelevant because my life isn't full of bad "outer" decisions?
Tonya Cobb really helped put a bow on this one: a person's life isn't their qualification for ministry - their heart for the Lord and his people qualifies them. He calls, equips, and prepares those He has great plans for, and He stays faithful to those faithful to Him.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
My Declaration as a Worshiper
I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me. Psalm 13:6
I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations; I will sing of you among the peoples. Psalm 57:9
I will sing of the LORD's great love forever; with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations. Psalm 89:1
I will sing to the LORD all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live. Psalm 104:33
Sing to the LORD! Give praise to the LORD! He rescues the life of the needy from the hands of the wicked. Jer.20:13
HIS response to my declaration:
The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zeph. 3:17
What brought me to this place of declaration before the world (or at least Emily :0P)? The humbling experience of standing before a group of people, praying and hoping and believing they will see the face of God, not just "feel" something moving around them.
I sing. It's what I do, and I am blessed to do it well. Thank you to all those that have encouraged this gift/talent in me. David, though, wasn't just a good singer - he was a worshiper.
Between David, Solomon, and a handful more writers, the longest book in the bible is a hymnal! It's a compilation CD of worship music laced with desperation, hunger, holy fear, righteous anger, and praise in its rawest, purest, most genuine form. Two whole chapters in the book of Revelation are dedicated to worship around the throne of God. What does that tell you and me?
Francis Chan Crazy Love:
It may sound "un-Christian" to say that on some mornings I don't feel like loving God, or I just forget to. But I do. In our world, where hundreds of things distract us from God, we have to intentionally and consistently remind ourselves of Him.
As a worship leader, I sometimes lose sight of the lyrics and focus on how the music feels, how the atmosphere shifts, or how the people react to the driving drums or rhythmic guitar. In our regular normal days, don't we sometimes lose sight of who God is and how we refer to him in light of EVERYTHING else that's going on? Like our friend Francis, we have to admit we miss God.
The amazing thing God is showing me, in the midst of One Tree Hill and poor money management skills, lack of energy and frustration with people around me, is it begins with worship. Life begins with worshiping Him, and all else falls into place.
I declare today I am a worshiper of the Lord God Almighty, Creator of all things, Jesus Christ, the Risen One, and Holy Spirit, Comforter, Counselor, Teacher, and Friend.
My declaration as a worshiper - David said it best:
Psalm 9
1 I will praise you, O LORD, with all my heart;
I will tell of all your wonders.
1I will exalt you, my God the King; I will praise your name for ever and ever.
2Every day I will praise you and extol your name for ever and ever.
3Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom.
To worship You, I live.
I live to worship You.
Here I am, with all I am, bowing down in spirit and truth, with lifted hands, worshiping you.
Thank you, Father, for singing over me.
You love me.
(Still working this concept in my head - every time I think I get it, it gets more intense.)
I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations; I will sing of you among the peoples. Psalm 57:9
I will sing of the LORD's great love forever; with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations. Psalm 89:1
I will sing to the LORD all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live. Psalm 104:33
Sing to the LORD! Give praise to the LORD! He rescues the life of the needy from the hands of the wicked. Jer.20:13
HIS response to my declaration:
The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zeph. 3:17
What brought me to this place of declaration before the world (or at least Emily :0P)? The humbling experience of standing before a group of people, praying and hoping and believing they will see the face of God, not just "feel" something moving around them.
I sing. It's what I do, and I am blessed to do it well. Thank you to all those that have encouraged this gift/talent in me. David, though, wasn't just a good singer - he was a worshiper.
Between David, Solomon, and a handful more writers, the longest book in the bible is a hymnal! It's a compilation CD of worship music laced with desperation, hunger, holy fear, righteous anger, and praise in its rawest, purest, most genuine form. Two whole chapters in the book of Revelation are dedicated to worship around the throne of God. What does that tell you and me?
Francis Chan Crazy Love:
It may sound "un-Christian" to say that on some mornings I don't feel like loving God, or I just forget to. But I do. In our world, where hundreds of things distract us from God, we have to intentionally and consistently remind ourselves of Him.
As a worship leader, I sometimes lose sight of the lyrics and focus on how the music feels, how the atmosphere shifts, or how the people react to the driving drums or rhythmic guitar. In our regular normal days, don't we sometimes lose sight of who God is and how we refer to him in light of EVERYTHING else that's going on? Like our friend Francis, we have to admit we miss God.
The amazing thing God is showing me, in the midst of One Tree Hill and poor money management skills, lack of energy and frustration with people around me, is it begins with worship. Life begins with worshiping Him, and all else falls into place.
I declare today I am a worshiper of the Lord God Almighty, Creator of all things, Jesus Christ, the Risen One, and Holy Spirit, Comforter, Counselor, Teacher, and Friend.
My declaration as a worshiper - David said it best:
Psalm 9
1 I will praise you, O LORD, with all my heart;
I will tell of all your wonders.
2 I will be glad and rejoice in you;
I will sing praise to your name, O Most High.
1I will exalt you, my God the King; I will praise your name for ever and ever.
2Every day I will praise you and extol your name for ever and ever.
3Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom.
To worship You, I live.
I live to worship You.
Here I am, with all I am, bowing down in spirit and truth, with lifted hands, worshiping you.
Thank you, Father, for singing over me.
You love me.
(Still working this concept in my head - every time I think I get it, it gets more intense.)
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Love Letter
It's been some time, you know, since we've really talked, you and me. Probably too much time, you know?
We could beat around the bush, shoot the breeze, tell a couple jokes... or we could say what really needs to be said.
If you don't mind, I'd like to go first. I'm totally willing to listen to you... by going first, I know I'm being selfish, and it's wrong, but I feel like I'm going to burst if I don't tell you.
I love you.
Like for real, truly love you.
You're probably wondering why it took me so long to figure it out and tell you instead of just assuming you already know. It's because I had to realize you've done something for me that no one else has really honestly done.
You loved me.
Wait - I'm not saying no else loves me. I have a great family and amazing friends, and they loved me their way. I know it deep inside my heart.
Your love, though, is different. For example, remember when I tried to manipulate you to get what I wanted, and you called me on it? Or remember when I broke down and cried because I didn't like who I was? What did you do? You wrapped me in your arms and told me it was okay, how grateful you were because I was me.
What about those times we would just talk with each other? You're such a great listener, and I love hearing your voice. Sometimes, I got chills when you spoke to me. Your words resonated in my spirit.
I miss spending real time with you. I can tell just by how my days goes, and I feel so bad later for not spending time... I just don't say anything.
I was afraid - afraid I'd never be good enough for you. I wanted to be so badly. I want to be faithful and considerate, compassionate and understanding - just like you.
I hoped you'd see my insecurities and weaknesses and be willing to accept me for me. You did, every time. I wanted so much to be someone you wanted to invest in, and you did - a lot.
I don't suppose saying "I love you" is as big a deal now - how much do those words get thrown around, esp. by me? But I do, even when I know I messed up with you. How many times did you forgive me?
So, all this to say I want another chance to love you. No more fear, no more giving in to shame or guilt, no more hiding.
See, I've held back, shut in, and kept quiet for too long. I chose not to fight for you, but no longer will I keep my heart contained.
Forgive me for feeling the need to be like everyone else, for neglecting you, for thinking other things were more important. I'm not ashamed of you - I'm ashamed of me.
But now, let's dance in the rain and laugh and smile and maybe even make a memory together.
I want to worship you in spirit and in truth. I want to be real about what you mean to me.
Jesus, I love you, and I'm not afraid to tell the world.
You know my inmost being, you know all my thoughts, you catch each of my tears, you hold my world together.
You are my provider, the banner that goes before me, my healer, my God, my friend, my father, my big brother, my love, my heart.
You created all the heavens and everything they contain, and yet you know me intimately.
You are my Lord and Master, my King, and I humbly stand before you, grateful to be chosen as one of your own.
I love you, Jesus.
Sincerely,
Jayme
We could beat around the bush, shoot the breeze, tell a couple jokes... or we could say what really needs to be said.
If you don't mind, I'd like to go first. I'm totally willing to listen to you... by going first, I know I'm being selfish, and it's wrong, but I feel like I'm going to burst if I don't tell you.
I love you.
Like for real, truly love you.
You're probably wondering why it took me so long to figure it out and tell you instead of just assuming you already know. It's because I had to realize you've done something for me that no one else has really honestly done.
You loved me.
Wait - I'm not saying no else loves me. I have a great family and amazing friends, and they loved me their way. I know it deep inside my heart.
Your love, though, is different. For example, remember when I tried to manipulate you to get what I wanted, and you called me on it? Or remember when I broke down and cried because I didn't like who I was? What did you do? You wrapped me in your arms and told me it was okay, how grateful you were because I was me.
What about those times we would just talk with each other? You're such a great listener, and I love hearing your voice. Sometimes, I got chills when you spoke to me. Your words resonated in my spirit.
I miss spending real time with you. I can tell just by how my days goes, and I feel so bad later for not spending time... I just don't say anything.
I was afraid - afraid I'd never be good enough for you. I wanted to be so badly. I want to be faithful and considerate, compassionate and understanding - just like you.
I hoped you'd see my insecurities and weaknesses and be willing to accept me for me. You did, every time. I wanted so much to be someone you wanted to invest in, and you did - a lot.
I don't suppose saying "I love you" is as big a deal now - how much do those words get thrown around, esp. by me? But I do, even when I know I messed up with you. How many times did you forgive me?
So, all this to say I want another chance to love you. No more fear, no more giving in to shame or guilt, no more hiding.
See, I've held back, shut in, and kept quiet for too long. I chose not to fight for you, but no longer will I keep my heart contained.
Forgive me for feeling the need to be like everyone else, for neglecting you, for thinking other things were more important. I'm not ashamed of you - I'm ashamed of me.
But now, let's dance in the rain and laugh and smile and maybe even make a memory together.
I want to worship you in spirit and in truth. I want to be real about what you mean to me.
Jesus, I love you, and I'm not afraid to tell the world.
You know my inmost being, you know all my thoughts, you catch each of my tears, you hold my world together.
You are my provider, the banner that goes before me, my healer, my God, my friend, my father, my big brother, my love, my heart.
You created all the heavens and everything they contain, and yet you know me intimately.
You are my Lord and Master, my King, and I humbly stand before you, grateful to be chosen as one of your own.
I love you, Jesus.
Sincerely,
Jayme
Monday, July 5, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
What do You ask of me, Lord?
In the middle of the storm,
On a clear summer day,
On a boat tossed by the winds,
In the warmth of the sun's rays,
I will worship You
because You are
both sovereign and soulmate,
Indescribably and intimate,
Feared and friend.
You, o Lord, are all I need, want, and desire.
Your heart is for me;
May I crave your presence daily.
I've laid my heart out for all to see (or at least Emily) - though I'm still battling the AM wake up call, it really is my heart to experience God in His fullness.
But here's the question - despite my heart's desire, what does He want from me? Is my heart in the right place? Is His will the motive behind all I do?
Jesus Calling: What I require of you is to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with Me - wherever I lead. (Micah 6:8)
Lay down our lives, not just die... My Utmost for His Highest: God saves a man and endues Him with the Holy Spirit and then says in effect - "Now work it out, be loyal to Me, whilst the nature of things round you would make you disloyal." Stay loyal to your Friend, and remember that His honour is at stake in your bodily life.
James 4: 2You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. 3When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.; 7Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.
This week has been eye-opening. I don't stay in constant motion, but my time is obligated to multiple events: work, youth, nursery, singles, my family, my friends, and God (not that He's last on my list - just happened that way). Because I've obligated myself to all of this, I am sharper with my words, more selfish in my prayers, and physically unable to function fully.
After a couple of long conversations with my "2 minutes" partner, I stopped to think about the prayers I've been praying lately, the time I spend allocated to different activities, and the quality and quantity of time I spend with my Father. I basically got the spiritual beat-down of my life in James 4.
Look, God's not asking us to recreate heaven and earth. He's not asking us to attain perfection in 2.2 seconds or less. Yeah, He does let us know there are actions we need to take after receiving His gift of salvation, but why do we flip out when He wants to hang out with us?
My cousin's alarm clock goes off everyone morning at 5:30. When you go to bed at midnight or later, 5:30 comes REALLY quickly. That part's not so bad. The part that makes me want to cry is it continues to go off every few minutes or so. He has to hit snooze like 4 or 5 times. He also has two alarms, so the sounds alternate as well. On top of this, he doesn't have to get up at that time every morning, but he chooses not to change the time.
What is the Lord asking of me? To beat down my cuz? Probably not. To get up and spend time with Him, starting my day by giving Him praise? More likely than not.
So, here's the answer to my title question: His will. Whatever it is. He's shown me this week that "His will" includes, but is not limited to, prayer, worship, thanksgiving, humility, perseverance, love, joy, peace, patience, self-control, laughter, smiling, words of affirmation and encouragement, faithfulness, truth, and slow to anger.
It does NOT include laziness, gluttony, stupidity, harshness, negativity, hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, and envy AKA basically my whole attitude this week.
Yes, I am hard on myself; however, I am growing in grace for myself. So, bless God, amen! "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,m]">[m] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Thank you Father for the goodness of the Father.
I will do what you ask of me. Just keep waking me up - I'll move, I promise.
On a clear summer day,
On a boat tossed by the winds,
In the warmth of the sun's rays,
I will worship You
because You are
both sovereign and soulmate,
Indescribably and intimate,
Feared and friend.
You, o Lord, are all I need, want, and desire.
Your heart is for me;
May I crave your presence daily.
I've laid my heart out for all to see (or at least Emily) - though I'm still battling the AM wake up call, it really is my heart to experience God in His fullness.
But here's the question - despite my heart's desire, what does He want from me? Is my heart in the right place? Is His will the motive behind all I do?
Jesus Calling: What I require of you is to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with Me - wherever I lead. (Micah 6:8)
Lay down our lives, not just die... My Utmost for His Highest: God saves a man and endues Him with the Holy Spirit and then says in effect - "Now work it out, be loyal to Me, whilst the nature of things round you would make you disloyal." Stay loyal to your Friend, and remember that His honour is at stake in your bodily life.
James 4: 2You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. 3When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.; 7Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.
This week has been eye-opening. I don't stay in constant motion, but my time is obligated to multiple events: work, youth, nursery, singles, my family, my friends, and God (not that He's last on my list - just happened that way). Because I've obligated myself to all of this, I am sharper with my words, more selfish in my prayers, and physically unable to function fully.
After a couple of long conversations with my "2 minutes" partner, I stopped to think about the prayers I've been praying lately, the time I spend allocated to different activities, and the quality and quantity of time I spend with my Father. I basically got the spiritual beat-down of my life in James 4.
Look, God's not asking us to recreate heaven and earth. He's not asking us to attain perfection in 2.2 seconds or less. Yeah, He does let us know there are actions we need to take after receiving His gift of salvation, but why do we flip out when He wants to hang out with us?
My cousin's alarm clock goes off everyone morning at 5:30. When you go to bed at midnight or later, 5:30 comes REALLY quickly. That part's not so bad. The part that makes me want to cry is it continues to go off every few minutes or so. He has to hit snooze like 4 or 5 times. He also has two alarms, so the sounds alternate as well. On top of this, he doesn't have to get up at that time every morning, but he chooses not to change the time.
What is the Lord asking of me? To beat down my cuz? Probably not. To get up and spend time with Him, starting my day by giving Him praise? More likely than not.
So, here's the answer to my title question: His will. Whatever it is. He's shown me this week that "His will" includes, but is not limited to, prayer, worship, thanksgiving, humility, perseverance, love, joy, peace, patience, self-control, laughter, smiling, words of affirmation and encouragement, faithfulness, truth, and slow to anger.
It does NOT include laziness, gluttony, stupidity, harshness, negativity, hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, and envy AKA basically my whole attitude this week.
Yes, I am hard on myself; however, I am growing in grace for myself. So, bless God, amen! "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,m]">[m] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Thank you Father for the goodness of the Father.
I will do what you ask of me. Just keep waking me up - I'll move, I promise.
Beginning of Unleashed 2010
"You won't relent until you have it all - my heart is yours."
"I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way He loves us!"
" I am unleashed to love you with my mind, with my heart, and with my soul."
What do these lines have in common? Well, they're all song lyrics. They say a lot without using a lot of words. Mostly, they refer to one thing - God's love.
Tonight was reassurance of God's love. How He loves us so! How often do we need to be reassured of this fact? Right now, it's on a pretty regular basis for me - constantly. Some moments, I am confident; other days, I wonder, as I continue to fall short, "Why do you bother, God?"
Do you know the sun rises and sets because of you? Rain waters the earth because of you. Flowers color the scene, mountains rise majestically above, trees bring shade, and animals join the song that brings joy to God's heart... all this because He wants you to enjoy it. The stars shine, and the moon reflects light... solely because of you. All creation serves the purpose of a constant reminder to man of the Father's love.
Have you ever taken a moment to just be with Jesus? "Getting lost in the gaze of your eyes - getting lost in the warmth of your smile. Your love is like the ocean; I'm drowning in your presence." Can you imagine what that must be like as an experience? I've only been in one serious relationship, and I remember there were moments when he smiled at me... imagine what it's like with our Father God, our brother and Lord Jesus Christ, and our friend Holy Spirit. Waves of love overflowing and overwhelming us all day and night.
The innocence and simplicity of our faith is rooted in the Father's love. What would it be like to solely be in love with God? To be completely engulfed by His love? I want that - I want to get lost in His eyes. I want His arms to enfold me and keep me close to His heart. I want to see all the love He has for me written on His face and arm. May He wear His love for me boldly on His sleeve, but even more, I want to do the same!
Here's part of a book I read every couple years - not gonna tell a synopsis. Just go with me :)
Jason spoke again in the quiet. "Thank you, Jesus."
The ground began to tremble.
Leiah lifted both hands and whispered to the sky. "I love you, Father." White light streaked from her mouth from the heavens.
Jason lifted his chin and joined her. "I worship you, Father. I love you."
Three blazing shafts of light fell from the sky, like supercharged spotlights illuminating each of their heads. The light pounded through Jason's skull and numbed his bones with a love so pure and raw that he thought he might die. He dropped to his knees and then collapsed to his back, trembling from head to foot.
God was responding.
I love you.
Jason could barely breathe. An ache rose through his chest and he began to weep.
"I love you, Jesus."
The light washed through his body, like an airborne intoxicant, and he lay there quaking and begging forgiveness and loving his Creator in a way he did not think humanly possible. Beside him Leiah and Caleb lay on the grass, receiving this kiss from heaven.
To experience God's love in this way - to live all my days covered in this light shaft of love.
Remember how far you have fallen. Return to me and change the way you think and act, and do what you did at first. I will come to you and take your lamp stand from its place if you don’t change. (Rev. 2:5 - God's WORD translation)
Get back to basics. Keep it simple and innocent - Matthew 5:8 "Blessed are those whose thoughts are pure. They will see God."
"I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way He loves us!"
" I am unleashed to love you with my mind, with my heart, and with my soul."
What do these lines have in common? Well, they're all song lyrics. They say a lot without using a lot of words. Mostly, they refer to one thing - God's love.
Tonight was reassurance of God's love. How He loves us so! How often do we need to be reassured of this fact? Right now, it's on a pretty regular basis for me - constantly. Some moments, I am confident; other days, I wonder, as I continue to fall short, "Why do you bother, God?"
Do you know the sun rises and sets because of you? Rain waters the earth because of you. Flowers color the scene, mountains rise majestically above, trees bring shade, and animals join the song that brings joy to God's heart... all this because He wants you to enjoy it. The stars shine, and the moon reflects light... solely because of you. All creation serves the purpose of a constant reminder to man of the Father's love.
Have you ever taken a moment to just be with Jesus? "Getting lost in the gaze of your eyes - getting lost in the warmth of your smile. Your love is like the ocean; I'm drowning in your presence." Can you imagine what that must be like as an experience? I've only been in one serious relationship, and I remember there were moments when he smiled at me... imagine what it's like with our Father God, our brother and Lord Jesus Christ, and our friend Holy Spirit. Waves of love overflowing and overwhelming us all day and night.
The innocence and simplicity of our faith is rooted in the Father's love. What would it be like to solely be in love with God? To be completely engulfed by His love? I want that - I want to get lost in His eyes. I want His arms to enfold me and keep me close to His heart. I want to see all the love He has for me written on His face and arm. May He wear His love for me boldly on His sleeve, but even more, I want to do the same!
Here's part of a book I read every couple years - not gonna tell a synopsis. Just go with me :)
Jason spoke again in the quiet. "Thank you, Jesus."
The ground began to tremble.
Leiah lifted both hands and whispered to the sky. "I love you, Father." White light streaked from her mouth from the heavens.
Jason lifted his chin and joined her. "I worship you, Father. I love you."
Three blazing shafts of light fell from the sky, like supercharged spotlights illuminating each of their heads. The light pounded through Jason's skull and numbed his bones with a love so pure and raw that he thought he might die. He dropped to his knees and then collapsed to his back, trembling from head to foot.
God was responding.
I love you.
Jason could barely breathe. An ache rose through his chest and he began to weep.
"I love you, Jesus."
The light washed through his body, like an airborne intoxicant, and he lay there quaking and begging forgiveness and loving his Creator in a way he did not think humanly possible. Beside him Leiah and Caleb lay on the grass, receiving this kiss from heaven.
To experience God's love in this way - to live all my days covered in this light shaft of love.
Matthew 18:2-3 (New International Version)
2He called a little child and had him stand among them. 3And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
Father, what must I do to have a child-like faith and experience your Kingdom here on earth?
Remember how far you have fallen. Return to me and change the way you think and act, and do what you did at first. I will come to you and take your lamp stand from its place if you don’t change. (Rev. 2:5 - God's WORD translation)
Get back to basics. Keep it simple and innocent - Matthew 5:8 "Blessed are those whose thoughts are pure. They will see God."
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Happy New Year!
Ok, so I know you're thinking, "You kinda missed it, Jayme. January 1... June 1... little bit of a difference." I know - if nothing else, snow v. no snow, right? Well, on June 1, God showed me that on June 13, my 29th birthday, a new year begins.
Talking to my sister in law, I learned that, at 30, my body will go through a hormonal disruption. I also found out I can be prepared for it, so guess what I'm doing? You better believe my diet is changing, my activity level is changing, and my priorities are changing at a pretty rapid pace! I want to be ready for ALL God has for me at 30, but even more, I want to be ready for all God has for me today.
People make New Year's resolutions and declare "this is how I will live my life this year". Well, I have a few declarations for my new year. With the help of my Father in Heaven, I will:
- love the Lord (Luke 10:27 He answered: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind' and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'")
- walk in obedience to my God (2 John 2:16 And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love)
- share the love of God with the world (Matt 24:14 And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.)
- use my talents for the Kingdom (Matt 25:29 For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him.)
We wait for January 1st like it's the reinvention of who we are when our new year can start at any time. When God creates a new season in our lives, He has priorities for our time, talents, and skills. He has a plan for all that we are and all He wants us to become during that time. Be open to celebrating New Year at any time of the year - God never said His plans for you were to prosper you, not to harm you, to give you hope and a future, and only revealed at the beginning of every calendar year.
Earlier this month, God gave me a word for my new year: "You have to watch your diet. You have to take care of you, or you won't be ready. You won't be in the shape I need you to be in to do what I need you to do. Be diligent, and I will prove my faithfulness."
How many times has He said this to me in the last 6-9 months? How many times have I fought Him with everything in me to stay where I'm at? People, I HAVE to get it together, I HAVE to get in shape (physically, emotionally, spiritually) to do what He wants me to do - I don't have time to waste! He doesn't want me to waste time - He wants to return! Granted, I'm not the sole vessel God will use to proclaim the name of Jesus to the whole world, but I am one of them!
God wants so badly to take all of us to another, deeper level (listening to Israel right now), and we fight him tooth and nail (which is actually "fight with every tooth and every nail") - with every ounce of our being. Oswald Chambers said, "The abiding awareness of the Christian life is to be God Himself, not just thoughts about Him. The total being of our life inside and out is to be absolutely obsessed by the presence of God." Acts 17:28a "For in him we live and move and have our being." If God is planning our lives and totally in everything and all we are and do, then we HAVE to be obedient, love the Lord, share His word with the world, and use our talents for His kingdom.
Honestly, I don't want to stand before God one day and say, "I wasn't willing to sacrifice my flesh to be obedient". So, yeah, I'm gonna change things around; I don't want to tell the Father He's not worth the effort. Who am I to tell God "mm... I'm thinking not so much to your plans"? He totally gave it all, did it all, and continues to be all.
Contemplate this idea as you read:
The choice wasn't yours;
It was His.
Before you were born,
Before you were a thought,
He picked you
From all the people
Throughout all of time.
He loved you
Before your first step.
Before your first breath,
He wrapped Himself all in, around, and through you.
It's why you crave Him
Like a famished man
Longs for a meal.
It's why you're dying for Him
Like a man wandering in the desert
In search of an oasis.
And yet, you miss Him
When He whispers your name.
Heed, hear, harken to Him -
Respond to His call.
He chose you.
He loves you.
Happy New Year to me - may it be a year when I give my all to and for Him.
- share the love of God with the world (Matt 24:14 And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.)
- use my talents for the Kingdom (Matt 25:29 For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him.)
We wait for January 1st like it's the reinvention of who we are when our new year can start at any time. When God creates a new season in our lives, He has priorities for our time, talents, and skills. He has a plan for all that we are and all He wants us to become during that time. Be open to celebrating New Year at any time of the year - God never said His plans for you were to prosper you, not to harm you, to give you hope and a future, and only revealed at the beginning of every calendar year.
Earlier this month, God gave me a word for my new year: "You have to watch your diet. You have to take care of you, or you won't be ready. You won't be in the shape I need you to be in to do what I need you to do. Be diligent, and I will prove my faithfulness."
How many times has He said this to me in the last 6-9 months? How many times have I fought Him with everything in me to stay where I'm at? People, I HAVE to get it together, I HAVE to get in shape (physically, emotionally, spiritually) to do what He wants me to do - I don't have time to waste! He doesn't want me to waste time - He wants to return! Granted, I'm not the sole vessel God will use to proclaim the name of Jesus to the whole world, but I am one of them!
God wants so badly to take all of us to another, deeper level (listening to Israel right now), and we fight him tooth and nail (which is actually "fight with every tooth and every nail") - with every ounce of our being. Oswald Chambers said, "The abiding awareness of the Christian life is to be God Himself, not just thoughts about Him. The total being of our life inside and out is to be absolutely obsessed by the presence of God." Acts 17:28a "For in him we live and move and have our being." If God is planning our lives and totally in everything and all we are and do, then we HAVE to be obedient, love the Lord, share His word with the world, and use our talents for His kingdom.
Honestly, I don't want to stand before God one day and say, "I wasn't willing to sacrifice my flesh to be obedient". So, yeah, I'm gonna change things around; I don't want to tell the Father He's not worth the effort. Who am I to tell God "mm... I'm thinking not so much to your plans"? He totally gave it all, did it all, and continues to be all.
Contemplate this idea as you read:
The choice wasn't yours;
It was His.
Before you were born,
Before you were a thought,
He picked you
From all the people
Throughout all of time.
He loved you
Before your first step.
Before your first breath,
He wrapped Himself all in, around, and through you.
It's why you crave Him
Like a famished man
Longs for a meal.
It's why you're dying for Him
Like a man wandering in the desert
In search of an oasis.
And yet, you miss Him
When He whispers your name.
Heed, hear, harken to Him -
Respond to His call.
He chose you.
He loves you.
Happy New Year to me - may it be a year when I give my all to and for Him.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Nobody's Perfect
On the emotional level, this week has been hell. Let me explain why.
Hell is a place completely devoid of God's presence. I've been so emotionally driven that stopping to allow God any space in my life this week didn't quite happen, so it's been hell.
And yet, He loves me. Oh, how He loves me!
Not really gonna give a recap - I can personally live without it - but there's been a process of getting me to the entry of Jesus Calling for today. I promise, there's a method to my madness... more like insanity, insecurity, and insistence for control.
The title was a comment that I received as a response to a look given during a conversation a few weeks ago. It's stuck with me since then and came up in a conversation with my cousin earlier this week. She asked me if I felt perfection was an expectation I placed on the relationship. Did I think that expectation restricted the ability to be one's self? I thought for a moment before saying, "Possibly".
Before I go any further, let's define "perfect": w/o blemish, scarring, or anything that can mar an image. In reference to people, it's someone who never chooses themselves over others. For those of us that love God, it's someone that always chooses God's will and never chooses self-rule. Perfect is someone who has no blemish on his or her soul.
How many times do we use "nobody's perfect" to excuse our weakness? Not in any way am I saying I don't do this - my response in the early conversation was "Who you tellin'?". If anything, I see everyday how miserably I fail at perfection, especially this week. I want to be the perfect friend/sister/child/worker/girlfriend(eventual wife)/singer/worshiper/teacher/leader. (Do I aspire high or what?) I want to always choose God's will and never choose self-rule. This week, the exact opposite happened, and it was because I want to be those things.
Twist (and deviation from what I have written on paper): Matt. 6:33. More and more, this verse is becoming bigger and bigger in my life. Track with me... If I seek God and His kingdom first, He will add things to my life, right? Well, when I seek God first, I am in a place where I've accepted, believe, and live a life that puts Christ on the throne. When I live in this place, Galatians 2:20 is truth: "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me". Ok, so here we go. Christ is now living in my body, and I'm still aware of life, even though I am dead. So, all that is necessary for perfection now resides in me.
I'm not claiming to be Jesus - please don't assume that! I - me, Jayme Hightower - am not perfect, but Christ - son of God, all that is perfect - lives in me. Not only is perfection "in" me, but... wait for it... greater is HE that is in me than he that is in the world! Does this make sense? Life is full of imperfections, but "our God is greater, our God is stronger! Lord, you are higher than any other! Our God is healer, awesome in power - our God!" (I'm convinced God has a soundtrack for all our lives - for some, it manifests on CD!)
Last night, I spent an hour on the phone with a friend, wondering why I felt like my faith was crumbling into a pile of nothing. How many lies spewed from my mouth, I couldn't tell you. Honestly, every insecurity I've ever struggled with manifested in a false statement about myself. She spoke this CRAZY amount of life into me, and I couldn't move past AHHH!!!
Bringing me back to Jesus Calling for May 21, 2010:
I, the Creator of the Universe, am with you and for you. What more could you need? When you feel some lack (of perfection, I added), it is because you are not connecting with Me at a deep level. I offer abundant Life (which I was reminded of last night); your part is to trust Me, refusing to worry about anythying.
And bringing me back to the soundtrack God's playing in my head:
Water - you turned into wine
Opened the eyes of the blind.
There's no one like you - none like you.
Perfection is found only in Jesus, so yeah, nobody's perfect... and it's okay because Perfection is within us, and it is greater than our insecurities, insensitivies, insanity, and instability. He is our stability in the chaos of life.
You alone can rescue,
You alone can save.
You alone can lift us from the grave.
You came down to find us,
Led us out of death.
To You alone belongs the highest praise!
*note: to the one that felt I expected perfection - it wasn't you that I expected to be perfect. I knew you had flaws, and that was okay with me. It was my imperfections I couldn't see past. Thanks for hanging in there and being patient with me.
Hell is a place completely devoid of God's presence. I've been so emotionally driven that stopping to allow God any space in my life this week didn't quite happen, so it's been hell.
And yet, He loves me. Oh, how He loves me!
Not really gonna give a recap - I can personally live without it - but there's been a process of getting me to the entry of Jesus Calling for today. I promise, there's a method to my madness... more like insanity, insecurity, and insistence for control.
The title was a comment that I received as a response to a look given during a conversation a few weeks ago. It's stuck with me since then and came up in a conversation with my cousin earlier this week. She asked me if I felt perfection was an expectation I placed on the relationship. Did I think that expectation restricted the ability to be one's self? I thought for a moment before saying, "Possibly".
Before I go any further, let's define "perfect": w/o blemish, scarring, or anything that can mar an image. In reference to people, it's someone who never chooses themselves over others. For those of us that love God, it's someone that always chooses God's will and never chooses self-rule. Perfect is someone who has no blemish on his or her soul.
How many times do we use "nobody's perfect" to excuse our weakness? Not in any way am I saying I don't do this - my response in the early conversation was "Who you tellin'?". If anything, I see everyday how miserably I fail at perfection, especially this week. I want to be the perfect friend/sister/child/worker/girlfriend(eventual wife)/singer/worshiper/teacher/leader. (Do I aspire high or what?) I want to always choose God's will and never choose self-rule. This week, the exact opposite happened, and it was because I want to be those things.
Twist (and deviation from what I have written on paper): Matt. 6:33. More and more, this verse is becoming bigger and bigger in my life. Track with me... If I seek God and His kingdom first, He will add things to my life, right? Well, when I seek God first, I am in a place where I've accepted, believe, and live a life that puts Christ on the throne. When I live in this place, Galatians 2:20 is truth: "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me". Ok, so here we go. Christ is now living in my body, and I'm still aware of life, even though I am dead. So, all that is necessary for perfection now resides in me.
I'm not claiming to be Jesus - please don't assume that! I - me, Jayme Hightower - am not perfect, but Christ - son of God, all that is perfect - lives in me. Not only is perfection "in" me, but... wait for it... greater is HE that is in me than he that is in the world! Does this make sense? Life is full of imperfections, but "our God is greater, our God is stronger! Lord, you are higher than any other! Our God is healer, awesome in power - our God!" (I'm convinced God has a soundtrack for all our lives - for some, it manifests on CD!)
Last night, I spent an hour on the phone with a friend, wondering why I felt like my faith was crumbling into a pile of nothing. How many lies spewed from my mouth, I couldn't tell you. Honestly, every insecurity I've ever struggled with manifested in a false statement about myself. She spoke this CRAZY amount of life into me, and I couldn't move past AHHH!!!
Bringing me back to Jesus Calling for May 21, 2010:
I, the Creator of the Universe, am with you and for you. What more could you need? When you feel some lack (of perfection, I added), it is because you are not connecting with Me at a deep level. I offer abundant Life (which I was reminded of last night); your part is to trust Me, refusing to worry about anythying.
And bringing me back to the soundtrack God's playing in my head:
Water - you turned into wine
Opened the eyes of the blind.
There's no one like you - none like you.
Perfection is found only in Jesus, so yeah, nobody's perfect... and it's okay because Perfection is within us, and it is greater than our insecurities, insensitivies, insanity, and instability. He is our stability in the chaos of life.
You alone can rescue,
You alone can save.
You alone can lift us from the grave.
You came down to find us,
Led us out of death.
To You alone belongs the highest praise!
*note: to the one that felt I expected perfection - it wasn't you that I expected to be perfect. I knew you had flaws, and that was okay with me. It was my imperfections I couldn't see past. Thanks for hanging in there and being patient with me.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Day 7 - Last Full Day
"Happy Mother's Day, hehehe!" was the text I got on my phone Sunday morning after taking a shower. It was from one of "my" daughters, a young lady that, with her twin sister, has called me Mama since age 16. She is now a 21 year old with her own little girl. It blessed me immensely to hear from her, especially since our schedules don't really allow for much together time anymore. I wished her the same and send a text hug to my "granddaughter". It was a great beginning to a full day.
Brandy and I left the others at the resort and went off on a quest to find just the right gift for my mom. I had purchased a cute thermos for her (she's a tea drinker) the day before, and we were in search of something that would make her smile. We got that, and more, at the Bath & Body Works outlet right around the corner. We tried to find her a nice terry robe, but the ones we saw weren't the greatest, and evidently Wal-Mart in TN doesn't carry robes. Oh, well, it is what it is. We decided to go out for lunch before our afternoon trek to the theatre. Wendy's was the choice of the day, and I tried the Crispy Chicken Deluxe Meal, since Brandy thought it was divine. It was good, but the next hour was amazing. My sister-in-law told her life story (basically), and I sat in awe of this mighty woman of God and her determination to be spiritually healthy. I am so grateful for the people God surrounds me with because they are all examples of a persevering heart. They fight on a regular basis to stand strong, knowing their identity in Christ, and constantly remembering His faithfulness and love.
We went to see the Backup Plan (it was all right - definitely have to be in the mood for a chick flick) and talked some more on our way back to the resort. The evening was spent at the waterpark, watching Destiny and her last go around on the bodyboard. She rode on her knees with NO hands! We all were very excited and proud of her.
Here's my journal entry - the last before we left:
I'm really sad - it's time to go home. Am I ready? I know God has something else for me to learn here. I guess I'll be much better when I get home. I'm very grateful for this trip - God has been amazing this week, and I'm learning a lot.
I'm also healing. My heart is more complete than before. Again, God is good.
I'm thinking I can breathe when I get home and be okay for a while.
Thank you, Father, for this week away with you and my family and for being you in my life.
I love you, too, Lord. Thank you.
God is showing me, even now, how many times a day He works and does on our behalf. I keep taking that for granted, and I miss so much of His love throughout the day.
Now, I'm home, been home since Monday, and I'm looking back over my week of vacation. What did I learn? Too much to condense. Am I applying it? One day at a time. Is God totally, fully, and completely sovereign? All day, every day, always, and in every way.
Here's something I got from my dad a couple days ago:
Worry and confidence
If you're able to worry, you're also able to be confident. Because from a functional standpoint, worry and confidence are pretty much the same thing.
Worry is the expectation that something negative will happen. Confidence is the expectation that something positive will happen.
How do you create confidence about something that hasn't happened yet? You use the exact same process you would use to create worry.
The big difference between worry and confidence is the expected outcome. And the powerful fact is, you can expect whatever outcome you choose.
There's another way that worry and confidence are quite similar. They both tend to be self-fulfilling prophesies.
So instead of destroying your effectiveness with worry, you can vastly enhance your effectiveness with confidence. It takes nothing more than a simple yet powerful change in your expectations.
-- Ralph Marston
As soon as I stop worrying,
Worrying how the story ends
I let go and I let God
Let God have His way
That’s when things start happening
When I stopped looking at back then
I let go and I let God
Let God Have his way (DeWayne Woods - Let Go)
Finally, I'm getting it - just hope it's not too late :)
Brandy and I left the others at the resort and went off on a quest to find just the right gift for my mom. I had purchased a cute thermos for her (she's a tea drinker) the day before, and we were in search of something that would make her smile. We got that, and more, at the Bath & Body Works outlet right around the corner. We tried to find her a nice terry robe, but the ones we saw weren't the greatest, and evidently Wal-Mart in TN doesn't carry robes. Oh, well, it is what it is. We decided to go out for lunch before our afternoon trek to the theatre. Wendy's was the choice of the day, and I tried the Crispy Chicken Deluxe Meal, since Brandy thought it was divine. It was good, but the next hour was amazing. My sister-in-law told her life story (basically), and I sat in awe of this mighty woman of God and her determination to be spiritually healthy. I am so grateful for the people God surrounds me with because they are all examples of a persevering heart. They fight on a regular basis to stand strong, knowing their identity in Christ, and constantly remembering His faithfulness and love.
We went to see the Backup Plan (it was all right - definitely have to be in the mood for a chick flick) and talked some more on our way back to the resort. The evening was spent at the waterpark, watching Destiny and her last go around on the bodyboard. She rode on her knees with NO hands! We all were very excited and proud of her.
Here's my journal entry - the last before we left:
I'm really sad - it's time to go home. Am I ready? I know God has something else for me to learn here. I guess I'll be much better when I get home. I'm very grateful for this trip - God has been amazing this week, and I'm learning a lot.
I'm also healing. My heart is more complete than before. Again, God is good.
I'm thinking I can breathe when I get home and be okay for a while.
Thank you, Father, for this week away with you and my family and for being you in my life.
I love you, too, Lord. Thank you.
God is showing me, even now, how many times a day He works and does on our behalf. I keep taking that for granted, and I miss so much of His love throughout the day.
Now, I'm home, been home since Monday, and I'm looking back over my week of vacation. What did I learn? Too much to condense. Am I applying it? One day at a time. Is God totally, fully, and completely sovereign? All day, every day, always, and in every way.
Here's something I got from my dad a couple days ago:
Worry and confidence
If you're able to worry, you're also able to be confident. Because from a functional standpoint, worry and confidence are pretty much the same thing.
Worry is the expectation that something negative will happen. Confidence is the expectation that something positive will happen.
How do you create confidence about something that hasn't happened yet? You use the exact same process you would use to create worry.
The big difference between worry and confidence is the expected outcome. And the powerful fact is, you can expect whatever outcome you choose.
There's another way that worry and confidence are quite similar. They both tend to be self-fulfilling prophesies.
So instead of destroying your effectiveness with worry, you can vastly enhance your effectiveness with confidence. It takes nothing more than a simple yet powerful change in your expectations.
-- Ralph Marston
As soon as I stop worrying,
Worrying how the story ends
I let go and I let God
Let God have His way
That’s when things start happening
When I stopped looking at back then
I let go and I let God
Let God Have his way (DeWayne Woods - Let Go)
Finally, I'm getting it - just hope it's not too late :)
Day 6 - Storms of Life
Saturday - we shopped. Clothes, shoes, food, trinkets.
You name it, we at least looked at it.
Fun times for the ladies while Tommy slept, ate, and hung out for a minute.
Friday AM, I woke up about 5:30 to this crazy loud storm. It was really loud, mostly because we were on the top floor, but it was intense as well. Now, I'm not really a morning person, and I don't get up during storms at home. However, I felt inclined to see what the commotion was, so I got out of bed and looked out the window. Wind blowing leaves off trees and rain pouring down from heaven. Not a lot of thunder and lightening, but there was some noise. I crawled back into bed and curled up, wondering if this storm had a message for me. Its message became evident on Saturday.
Friday & Saturday, the temperature dropped from 90 degrees to right around 60, and it was really messing with my head. I woke up both days with a stuffy nose and burning eyes. I thought it was miserable being sick (but not) on vacation. Then I got a phone call from my sister, telling me to check a message of Facebook. I wasn't able to until we got back to the resort. I went in my room and closed the door, only to read about a dear friend who lost a loved one. I had a suspicion since I'd just discussed this friend the day before with the same sister, but it didn't keep my heart from breaking for and with her.
What can you say or do in the midst of the storm? We're grateful for "being inside", for the protection the Father wraps around us as we wait it out, so to speak. We're thankful for "umbrellas" when we've got to be in the middle of it, but what if our umbrella blows out or can't be found in time? What if it's just us vs. the wind, rain, thunder, lightening, and overwhelming wave that floods our souls?
Today, I read a novel based on the story of Esther. She was an orphan raised by an older male cousin who never married and became queen of a country whose eventual #2 leader wanted to eliminate all traces of the people that shared her blood and God. Talk about a life of storms! How many times do you think she wanted to run away into the safety of the foreign culture? To just be "normal" like everyone else around her? And yet, she chose to stand up, even if it meant her life.
Our storms are not quite like Esther's, but they're just as impacting on our lives. For Esther, it was like she couldn't get a grip on life before being tossed into another storm. For my friend, it may seem like darkness all around, and maybe she's feeling windblown or unfairly treated right now. Well, you may be wondering what I did in this situation. I got her a pair of socks. Why? Because she likes comfy socks. Granted, I bought them before I heard the news, but it wasn't about timing. It was about walking with her, mourning with her, wanting to empathize and be there for her, just like a pair of comfy socks.
2a time to be born, and a time toB)">(B) die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; 3a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 4a time toC)">(C) weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time toD)">(D) dance; 5a time toE)">(E) cast away stones, and a time toF)">(F) gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time toG)">(G) refrain from embracing; 6a time to seek, and a time toH)">(H) lose; a time to keep, and a time toI)">(I) cast away; 7a time toJ)">(J) tear, and a time to sew; a time toK)">(K) keep silence, and a time to speak; 8a time to love, and a time toL)">(L) hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.
Mordecai reminded Esther of these things: 13 Then Mordecai sent back word to Esther: "Just because you live in the king's palace, don't think that out of all the Jewish people you alone will escape.14 If you keep quiet at this time, someone else will help and save the Jewish people, but you and your father's family will all die. And who knows, you may have been chosen queen for just such a time as this." Esther 4 (New Century Version) Solomon also speaks to myself and my friend now. Even though it may seem harsh or sound insensitive, the words of the wise king are still very true.
Storms are necessary for new life, new beginnings, refreshing, renewing, revitalizing, and removing what is unclean and unnecessary from our souls. No one likes it when it rains outside, but they know following the rain is clarity, understanding, and truth - life is more vibrant than before the storm. (Unless you live in the south, where it's a little humid and a little foggy sometimes) God even reminds us in Rev. 21:4, "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death, sadness, crying, or pain, because all the old ways are gone". One day, we will no longer mourn with those who mourn, but we will rejoice as one body with our Father!
Thank you, Lord, for the storms. May we not be double-minded during them, but persevere through to show ourselves tested and true. May we allow time for mourning, but walk in trust and faith, knowing we will rejoice in and with You for eternity.
You name it, we at least looked at it.
Fun times for the ladies while Tommy slept, ate, and hung out for a minute.
Friday AM, I woke up about 5:30 to this crazy loud storm. It was really loud, mostly because we were on the top floor, but it was intense as well. Now, I'm not really a morning person, and I don't get up during storms at home. However, I felt inclined to see what the commotion was, so I got out of bed and looked out the window. Wind blowing leaves off trees and rain pouring down from heaven. Not a lot of thunder and lightening, but there was some noise. I crawled back into bed and curled up, wondering if this storm had a message for me. Its message became evident on Saturday.
Friday & Saturday, the temperature dropped from 90 degrees to right around 60, and it was really messing with my head. I woke up both days with a stuffy nose and burning eyes. I thought it was miserable being sick (but not) on vacation. Then I got a phone call from my sister, telling me to check a message of Facebook. I wasn't able to until we got back to the resort. I went in my room and closed the door, only to read about a dear friend who lost a loved one. I had a suspicion since I'd just discussed this friend the day before with the same sister, but it didn't keep my heart from breaking for and with her.
What can you say or do in the midst of the storm? We're grateful for "being inside", for the protection the Father wraps around us as we wait it out, so to speak. We're thankful for "umbrellas" when we've got to be in the middle of it, but what if our umbrella blows out or can't be found in time? What if it's just us vs. the wind, rain, thunder, lightening, and overwhelming wave that floods our souls?
Today, I read a novel based on the story of Esther. She was an orphan raised by an older male cousin who never married and became queen of a country whose eventual #2 leader wanted to eliminate all traces of the people that shared her blood and God. Talk about a life of storms! How many times do you think she wanted to run away into the safety of the foreign culture? To just be "normal" like everyone else around her? And yet, she chose to stand up, even if it meant her life.
Our storms are not quite like Esther's, but they're just as impacting on our lives. For Esther, it was like she couldn't get a grip on life before being tossed into another storm. For my friend, it may seem like darkness all around, and maybe she's feeling windblown or unfairly treated right now. Well, you may be wondering what I did in this situation. I got her a pair of socks. Why? Because she likes comfy socks. Granted, I bought them before I heard the news, but it wasn't about timing. It was about walking with her, mourning with her, wanting to empathize and be there for her, just like a pair of comfy socks.
Ecclesiastes 3
A Time for Everything
1For everything there is a season, andA)">(A) a time for every matter under heaven:2a time to be born, and a time toB)">(B) die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; 3a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 4a time toC)">(C) weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time toD)">(D) dance; 5a time toE)">(E) cast away stones, and a time toF)">(F) gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time toG)">(G) refrain from embracing; 6a time to seek, and a time toH)">(H) lose; a time to keep, and a time toI)">(I) cast away; 7a time toJ)">(J) tear, and a time to sew; a time toK)">(K) keep silence, and a time to speak; 8a time to love, and a time toL)">(L) hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.
Mordecai reminded Esther of these things: 13 Then Mordecai sent back word to Esther: "Just because you live in the king's palace, don't think that out of all the Jewish people you alone will escape.14 If you keep quiet at this time, someone else will help and save the Jewish people, but you and your father's family will all die. And who knows, you may have been chosen queen for just such a time as this." Esther 4 (New Century Version) Solomon also speaks to myself and my friend now. Even though it may seem harsh or sound insensitive, the words of the wise king are still very true.
Storms are necessary for new life, new beginnings, refreshing, renewing, revitalizing, and removing what is unclean and unnecessary from our souls. No one likes it when it rains outside, but they know following the rain is clarity, understanding, and truth - life is more vibrant than before the storm. (Unless you live in the south, where it's a little humid and a little foggy sometimes) God even reminds us in Rev. 21:4, "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death, sadness, crying, or pain, because all the old ways are gone". One day, we will no longer mourn with those who mourn, but we will rejoice as one body with our Father!
Thank you, Lord, for the storms. May we not be double-minded during them, but persevere through to show ourselves tested and true. May we allow time for mourning, but walk in trust and faith, knowing we will rejoice in and with You for eternity.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Day 5 - Take It Slow!
So, today was a good day - simple, relaxed, and easy.
I woke up and spent some time with the Father, and it was so nice and much needed at the time.
Here's the first part of the journal entry for the day:
Isaiah 26:3 - You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in You, all whose thoughts are fixed on you.
2 Cor. 4:18 - So we don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather we fix our gaze on things that can not been seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we can not see will last forever.
Fix our gaze = intensely focus
Fix our thoughts = be consumed by only these thoughts and things
Lord, thank You for the answer in Isaiah - trust and fixing my thoughts.
You desire me to be intensely focused on trusting You for the unseen (who You are, Your character, Your presence in my life, You in others, You around every corner). Father, to be fixed on you, distractions have to be dismissed and removed from view. Lord, I know you've removed me from my normal/regular life because there are distractions. Work, ministry, relationships, even TV, and all those other things are distractions.
Ps. 84:10 - A single day in your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere. I would rather be a gatekeeper (door holder!!) in the house of my God than live the good life in the homes of the wicked.
"To dwell in your presence/to be where you are!/ To dwell at your footstool and say that you are/HOLY/MIGHTY/RIGHTEOUS!" - PT & PS
Father, help me to focus/fix my gaze/intensely seek you. When I seek you with all my heart, I will find you. What does it take?
- How can I bless you today?
- Ps. 119:105 - Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.
- Heed the advice of wisdom.
- No time like the present!
After having a chance to work through a couple things with the Lord, I got up and got ready for the day. That afternoon, we went to see Iron Man 2. Probably would've helped to see all of the first one, but it is what it is. I liked it, especially how Tony lived everyday like he was dying. Also heard Kris Allen's "Live Like We're Dying" in Journeys while browsing shoes after the water park the day before - seemed like a running theme for me. BTW, I found these amazing dual-tone Converses. I like a lot :)
Anyway, here's my question: How do we live everyday like it's our last day? Pray for a heart like Christ's. Speak up, spread the word about His love, be a light IN the world, experience Him and then hold the door open to let the lost in & let those full of His grace out into the world. Let those needing more back in and send them out to make a difference. Long for His return by accelerating the move of the Kingdom. He told us in Matthew 24:14, "And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come." Assist in this move instead of hiding away, huddled and cloistered together, just passing time until Jesus comes to earth. Expect Him around every corner with opportunities for ministry, either for you or from you to another. Receive His blessings AND His correction. Basically, live for the mission, and the end will come.
Yes, Father, I KNOW You're talking to me, too... help my unbelief!
Second part:
Golden Corral, man, with all you can eat baby back ribs and barbecue! Don't you know my brother was HAPPY! It was basically all he could talk about the whole day, and since it's Destiny's favorite place, we heard double the enjoyment. We walk in, pay the fee for the feeding line, and pretty much dig right in. Tommy went after those ribs like there was no tomorrow, and his plate was quite full of swine. Brandy and I balanced out meats and bread with salad, and the girls ate a little of everything. The diversity of food choices and eating habits just among my family is ridiculous, but all God. He created us this way - to be different so no one feels left out or ashamed of themselves. Needless to say, we all ate till we were full and returned to the room feeling good inside. I think we went swimming that night, too, just to work off some of the food. Bless God, Amen!
Just like a buffet, God created so many varieties so everyone could be okay with who they are and what blesses them. In Ps. 139:1-18, the writer declares his awareness of how God created him exactly the way God wanted - v. 13 "you knit me together in my mother's womb" and v.14 "fearfully and wonderfully made". Imagine being knit together! We have a knitting club that meets at our church, and it's amazing to watch these ladies' fingers fly through yarn! It's an intricate, detailed process for the finished piece to be just right, and it takes time. God thought through the process, as detailed and precise as it is, to form us.
Paul talks about who we are as well. In 1 Cor. 9, he talks about being formed to do a work for the kingdom: 20To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. 21To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God's law but am under Christ's law), so as to win those not having the law. 22To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. 23I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.
Paul says become all things that you may win some to the kingdom. God's intricate details inside of us create a person that is able to intricately design a plan that will draw others to the Lord. He didn't give us a brain as well as allow us knowledge of right and wrong to just sit on it and think, "Wow, this is nice". He allowed us these tools to fulfill His mission: to make us more like Him and to draw others inside the doors and into the kingdom.
Louie Giglio (a pretty cool guy) spoke a couple weeks ago about being the light of the world. He explained how being the light of the world meant being in the world, and being in the world meant becoming all things to all men that we may win some to the kingdom. Don't take this as a license for sin b/c that's the FURTHEST from the truth. However, don't judge those that aren't holy, sanctified, and praising the name of Jesus every 20 seconds.
God really does love us the way we are, no matter what we _________ (fill in the blank). He love is amazing, steady and unchanging.
I woke up and spent some time with the Father, and it was so nice and much needed at the time.
Here's the first part of the journal entry for the day:
Isaiah 26:3 - You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in You, all whose thoughts are fixed on you.
2 Cor. 4:18 - So we don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather we fix our gaze on things that can not been seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we can not see will last forever.
Fix our gaze = intensely focus
Fix our thoughts = be consumed by only these thoughts and things
Lord, thank You for the answer in Isaiah - trust and fixing my thoughts.
You desire me to be intensely focused on trusting You for the unseen (who You are, Your character, Your presence in my life, You in others, You around every corner). Father, to be fixed on you, distractions have to be dismissed and removed from view. Lord, I know you've removed me from my normal/regular life because there are distractions. Work, ministry, relationships, even TV, and all those other things are distractions.
Ps. 84:10 - A single day in your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere. I would rather be a gatekeeper (door holder!!) in the house of my God than live the good life in the homes of the wicked.
"To dwell in your presence/to be where you are!/ To dwell at your footstool and say that you are/HOLY/MIGHTY/RIGHTEOUS!" - PT & PS
Father, help me to focus/fix my gaze/intensely seek you. When I seek you with all my heart, I will find you. What does it take?
- How can I bless you today?
- Ps. 119:105 - Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.
- Heed the advice of wisdom.
- No time like the present!
After having a chance to work through a couple things with the Lord, I got up and got ready for the day. That afternoon, we went to see Iron Man 2. Probably would've helped to see all of the first one, but it is what it is. I liked it, especially how Tony lived everyday like he was dying. Also heard Kris Allen's "Live Like We're Dying" in Journeys while browsing shoes after the water park the day before - seemed like a running theme for me. BTW, I found these amazing dual-tone Converses. I like a lot :)
Anyway, here's my question: How do we live everyday like it's our last day? Pray for a heart like Christ's. Speak up, spread the word about His love, be a light IN the world, experience Him and then hold the door open to let the lost in & let those full of His grace out into the world. Let those needing more back in and send them out to make a difference. Long for His return by accelerating the move of the Kingdom. He told us in Matthew 24:14, "And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come." Assist in this move instead of hiding away, huddled and cloistered together, just passing time until Jesus comes to earth. Expect Him around every corner with opportunities for ministry, either for you or from you to another. Receive His blessings AND His correction. Basically, live for the mission, and the end will come.
Yes, Father, I KNOW You're talking to me, too... help my unbelief!
Second part:
Golden Corral, man, with all you can eat baby back ribs and barbecue! Don't you know my brother was HAPPY! It was basically all he could talk about the whole day, and since it's Destiny's favorite place, we heard double the enjoyment. We walk in, pay the fee for the feeding line, and pretty much dig right in. Tommy went after those ribs like there was no tomorrow, and his plate was quite full of swine. Brandy and I balanced out meats and bread with salad, and the girls ate a little of everything. The diversity of food choices and eating habits just among my family is ridiculous, but all God. He created us this way - to be different so no one feels left out or ashamed of themselves. Needless to say, we all ate till we were full and returned to the room feeling good inside. I think we went swimming that night, too, just to work off some of the food. Bless God, Amen!
Just like a buffet, God created so many varieties so everyone could be okay with who they are and what blesses them. In Ps. 139:1-18, the writer declares his awareness of how God created him exactly the way God wanted - v. 13 "you knit me together in my mother's womb" and v.14 "fearfully and wonderfully made". Imagine being knit together! We have a knitting club that meets at our church, and it's amazing to watch these ladies' fingers fly through yarn! It's an intricate, detailed process for the finished piece to be just right, and it takes time. God thought through the process, as detailed and precise as it is, to form us.
Paul talks about who we are as well. In 1 Cor. 9, he talks about being formed to do a work for the kingdom: 20To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. 21To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God's law but am under Christ's law), so as to win those not having the law. 22To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. 23I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.
Paul says become all things that you may win some to the kingdom. God's intricate details inside of us create a person that is able to intricately design a plan that will draw others to the Lord. He didn't give us a brain as well as allow us knowledge of right and wrong to just sit on it and think, "Wow, this is nice". He allowed us these tools to fulfill His mission: to make us more like Him and to draw others inside the doors and into the kingdom.
Louie Giglio (a pretty cool guy) spoke a couple weeks ago about being the light of the world. He explained how being the light of the world meant being in the world, and being in the world meant becoming all things to all men that we may win some to the kingdom. Don't take this as a license for sin b/c that's the FURTHEST from the truth. However, don't judge those that aren't holy, sanctified, and praising the name of Jesus every 20 seconds.
God really does love us the way we are, no matter what we _________ (fill in the blank). He love is amazing, steady and unchanging.
Romans 8:37-39 (The Message)
31-39So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn't hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn't gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God's chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ's love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture:
They kill us in cold blood because they hate you.
We're sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one.
None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I'm absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God's love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.
Day 4 - More than Conquerors... we are victorious!
Greetings and salutations!
So, writing a blog is difficult enough without the wifi connection being totally not stable.
Again, another learning experience, so bless God, AMEN!
So, Day 4 - We returned to the water park to enjoy another day in the sun (though indoors). Today De'Leonna and I decided to conquer our fear of drops on water rides. The Storm Chaser intimidated us the previous day, but we decided we wouldn't be the only ones not to experience this ride that took you through a tube, dropped you about 15 feet or so at a 45 degree angle into a huge funnel in which you slid back and forth as you got closer to the bottom which was another tube that accelerated you into a pool at the bottom, culminating a nice splash. (Can you tell I'm reliving those moments again?) Well, ladies and... well, lady (since you're the only one reading, Em), I DID IT!!! TWICE!!! Yes, my limbs were shaking at the end of the first time, especially after going down backwards, but the Lord helped me through another opportunity to keep fear from dictating my life to me. De'Leonna, on the first go around, got to the top of the steps and stopped, pretty close to paralyzed. Between myself and Tommy, we got her on the ride, and it was a little trippy, but guess who went 2 more times? De' De' pushed through her fear and even enjoyed the ride.
After doing this, I let Brandy talk (drag) me into trying bodyboarding on this ride called "Surf Rider". I didn't do as great on this one, but I was proud of myself for the attempt. After I messed up and felt stupid, Tommy and Destiny also went bodyboarding and even got up on their knees! I didn't feel as bad considering they had done it the day before with just as much ability as I had shown - I wonder what I would have accomplished second go round.
After another full, waterlogged day, we had Domino's and salad for dinner, went for a walk (3 of 6), chilled at the pool, and went to bed.
I learned a couple things that day:
1. There are those that hear the call or see the challenge and go full force after it. They heed God's voice immediately and follow in obedience. There are others who hear and see and attempt to follow the call, but give up after trying and messing up, not taking advantage of the opportunity to try again (wonder who that is, bodyboarding misfit!) The book of James talks about those that persevere:
2. This is a lesson gleaned from the wisdom of Brandy as we walked from the resort to Wal-Mart and back - There are burdens God places on our hearts. Are they our burdens to personally carry or are they burdens that He desires us to merely pray over, trusting Him to provide whatever is needed to relieve them? These burdens could be re: family, friends, relationships, work, church, finances, ministry opportunities, or something simple like picking out clothes and accessories :)
Take advantage of those times to hear God's discerning voice. He may show you an elephant, the letter H, and a sharp dagger. Make sure you don't stop asking questions - those three things don't necessarily mean "ride an elephant at the Hartford Zoo, carrying a sharp dagger for protection". Keep asking until He reveals His plan -
So, writing a blog is difficult enough without the wifi connection being totally not stable.
Again, another learning experience, so bless God, AMEN!
So, Day 4 - We returned to the water park to enjoy another day in the sun (though indoors). Today De'Leonna and I decided to conquer our fear of drops on water rides. The Storm Chaser intimidated us the previous day, but we decided we wouldn't be the only ones not to experience this ride that took you through a tube, dropped you about 15 feet or so at a 45 degree angle into a huge funnel in which you slid back and forth as you got closer to the bottom which was another tube that accelerated you into a pool at the bottom, culminating a nice splash. (Can you tell I'm reliving those moments again?) Well, ladies and... well, lady (since you're the only one reading, Em), I DID IT!!! TWICE!!! Yes, my limbs were shaking at the end of the first time, especially after going down backwards, but the Lord helped me through another opportunity to keep fear from dictating my life to me. De'Leonna, on the first go around, got to the top of the steps and stopped, pretty close to paralyzed. Between myself and Tommy, we got her on the ride, and it was a little trippy, but guess who went 2 more times? De' De' pushed through her fear and even enjoyed the ride.
After doing this, I let Brandy talk (drag) me into trying bodyboarding on this ride called "Surf Rider". I didn't do as great on this one, but I was proud of myself for the attempt. After I messed up and felt stupid, Tommy and Destiny also went bodyboarding and even got up on their knees! I didn't feel as bad considering they had done it the day before with just as much ability as I had shown - I wonder what I would have accomplished second go round.
After another full, waterlogged day, we had Domino's and salad for dinner, went for a walk (3 of 6), chilled at the pool, and went to bed.
I learned a couple things that day:
1. There are those that hear the call or see the challenge and go full force after it. They heed God's voice immediately and follow in obedience. There are others who hear and see and attempt to follow the call, but give up after trying and messing up, not taking advantage of the opportunity to try again (wonder who that is, bodyboarding misfit!) The book of James talks about those that persevere:
James 1:12 (New International Version)
12Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
James 5:10-11 (New International Version)
10Brothers, as an example of patience in the face of suffering, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. 11As you know, we consider blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job's perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.
I read this, and I posed the question to myself... Is this a reflection of where I am in life, attempting but giving up instead of taking advantage of chances given by the Father? More on that later...2. This is a lesson gleaned from the wisdom of Brandy as we walked from the resort to Wal-Mart and back - There are burdens God places on our hearts. Are they our burdens to personally carry or are they burdens that He desires us to merely pray over, trusting Him to provide whatever is needed to relieve them? These burdens could be re: family, friends, relationships, work, church, finances, ministry opportunities, or something simple like picking out clothes and accessories :)
Take advantage of those times to hear God's discerning voice. He may show you an elephant, the letter H, and a sharp dagger. Make sure you don't stop asking questions - those three things don't necessarily mean "ride an elephant at the Hartford Zoo, carrying a sharp dagger for protection". Keep asking until He reveals His plan -
Luke 11:9-10 (Amplified Bible)
9So I say to you, Ask and a]">[a]keep on asking and it shall be given you; seek and b]">[b]keep on seeking and you shall find; knock and c]">[c]keep on knocking and the door shall be opened to you.
10For everyone who asks and d]">[d]keeps on asking receives; and he who seeks and e]">[e]keeps on seeking finds; and to him who knocks and f]">[f]keeps on knocking, the door shall be opened.
How can you expect an answer to a question you never ask? Not only that, but the tense of the verbs in Greek create an active persistence in asking, seeking, and knocking. Don't stop asking questions.
I can see this is going to take more than one post to finish up my vacation, so... on to the next day!
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Day 3 - Water, water, water!
Not a long entry tonight - tired doesn't even explain how I feel right now!
We went to a water park, and my body is waterlogged all over. I still feel like I'm in the wave pool, being tossed back and forth. I conquered a fear today - I rode a tube ride all by myself. It's kind of a big deal considering I don't rides basically at all. Well, bless God, Amen!
Today, I sat in this gorgeous indoor/outdoor spa, and my mind drifted away to thoughts I probably didn't need to have and probably could have kept locked away. Then, being in the wave pool, I was reminded of James 1 - "6 But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. 7 Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do." My thoughts were so divided between God and what I want; I had to let it go and give it to the Lord, taking them captive to the word. Then, physically, I was TOTALLY being tossed and blown about, but my Father in Heaven knows where my heart is, and it's wanting to follow His and His will "unto death, even death upon a cross". No longer will I live with divided loyalty.
Also, thanks to Emmy for the following: "6If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 7And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort." (2 Cor 1) Sharing comfort is one thing, but sharing suffering is completely different. In praying for my friend from yesterday, then reading this scripture, now I know why my heart hurts for him. It's my place as his friend and sister in Christ. However, I also know that in sharing his suffering, God will let us share in His comforting love.
Water, water everywhere
In my ears and in my hair.
It's okay cuz God loves me,
And we're as happy as can be!
It's late - that's my excuse.
Love and peace to you. Good night!
We went to a water park, and my body is waterlogged all over. I still feel like I'm in the wave pool, being tossed back and forth. I conquered a fear today - I rode a tube ride all by myself. It's kind of a big deal considering I don't rides basically at all. Well, bless God, Amen!
Today, I sat in this gorgeous indoor/outdoor spa, and my mind drifted away to thoughts I probably didn't need to have and probably could have kept locked away. Then, being in the wave pool, I was reminded of James 1 - "6 But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. 7 Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do." My thoughts were so divided between God and what I want; I had to let it go and give it to the Lord, taking them captive to the word. Then, physically, I was TOTALLY being tossed and blown about, but my Father in Heaven knows where my heart is, and it's wanting to follow His and His will "unto death, even death upon a cross". No longer will I live with divided loyalty.
Also, thanks to Emmy for the following: "6If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 7And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort." (2 Cor 1) Sharing comfort is one thing, but sharing suffering is completely different. In praying for my friend from yesterday, then reading this scripture, now I know why my heart hurts for him. It's my place as his friend and sister in Christ. However, I also know that in sharing his suffering, God will let us share in His comforting love.
Water, water everywhere
In my ears and in my hair.
It's okay cuz God loves me,
And we're as happy as can be!
It's late - that's my excuse.
Love and peace to you. Good night!
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Day 2 - What a day, what a day!
How much can you learn about yourself in one day? Well, let's see...
1. I am not okay with a lot of walking on only 4 hours of sleep.
2. I need to turn my alarm off when I'm on vacation: who wants to get up at 7 AM on vacay?
3. Shell-toe Adidas tennis shoes are not hot when you're hiking in mountains - can't mess up the pretty shoes.
4. My family and the Stevenson family - WAAAYYYY too similar, but I love it, just like I love both families.
5. My experiences in life have only served to soften my heart to those around me, and I'm very grateful for God letting me live so others can learn from my mistakes.
That's not all, but it's definitely enough :)
So, day 2 - I talked with my friend Natalie til early AM, wrote in my journal, prayed, and got to sleep around 3-ish. Woke up at sunrise (7 AM) and looked out the window to see the amazingly breathtaking scene freshly lit with early morning sunlight. I totally pulled out the camera and praised God for another day. I went back to bed, but sleep was elusive as I continued to think through the plan for the day and topics from the night before. I got a call from a friend that hurt my heart, but God is WAY faithful and SO good to us. I loved speaking support and encouragement into him, and I love opportunities to love others. I just pray it was helpful... I'm totally thinking, "Jayme, you talk way too much", but I hope God works through that :)
After the conversation and a shower, the family and I headed out to Sugarlands Visitor Center for our trek to the waterfalls. We made it to one, nixed the second, and drove out to see the final two. The third has a closed parking lot, and the fourth was almost missed! It's crazy - what did God show me on the second day of my Tennessee adventure? That today is a good day. I saw beauty at its east coast finery. I experienced an exciting time learning about birds, trees, animals, and mountain life. Even more, though, today is a day the Lord made, and we can choose to rejoice and be glad in it. I mean, seriously, isn't that what brings Him joy? Knowing we go through the day loving it because He made it? The only thing that could make it all better is shouting the gospel to every corner of the world!
Our great commission in life is make disciples wherever we go, right? So, what makes us effective in this venture? Rejoicing in each day He's made for us! Joy is a by-product of love, and His love is life changing! His love is gratifying, electrifying, fulfilling, exciting, and completely joyful!
Take Him at His word: seek His kingdom, a joyful and wonderful experience, and everything will come to you - His grace, affection, mercy, compassion, blessings, favor, and opportunities to share it all with the world.
I know this may seem scattered - that could be due to watching Cartoon Network at the same time I'm trying to be spiritual - but God is desiring us to take the day and see the many occasions throughout the day to see how awesomely He works in our lives.
Rest of the afternoon spent at "The Funnel Cake", where they dip candy bars and fry them in addition to selling funnel cakes with tasty toppings, ice cream, and drinks. So good, but needed a salad after that one! Then, we headed back to the resort via Wal-Mart (God's gift to the middle class), and now everyone's resting before an evening full of twilight swimming.
So, here's my wrap-up: Today really is a good day - here's to walking trails, Wal-Mart, wonderfully tasty funnel cakes, a wicked Taco Tuesday, and a weeknight of water fun! Rejoice and be glad in your beautiful day, my friends!
1. I am not okay with a lot of walking on only 4 hours of sleep.
2. I need to turn my alarm off when I'm on vacation: who wants to get up at 7 AM on vacay?
3. Shell-toe Adidas tennis shoes are not hot when you're hiking in mountains - can't mess up the pretty shoes.
4. My family and the Stevenson family - WAAAYYYY too similar, but I love it, just like I love both families.
5. My experiences in life have only served to soften my heart to those around me, and I'm very grateful for God letting me live so others can learn from my mistakes.
That's not all, but it's definitely enough :)
So, day 2 - I talked with my friend Natalie til early AM, wrote in my journal, prayed, and got to sleep around 3-ish. Woke up at sunrise (7 AM) and looked out the window to see the amazingly breathtaking scene freshly lit with early morning sunlight. I totally pulled out the camera and praised God for another day. I went back to bed, but sleep was elusive as I continued to think through the plan for the day and topics from the night before. I got a call from a friend that hurt my heart, but God is WAY faithful and SO good to us. I loved speaking support and encouragement into him, and I love opportunities to love others. I just pray it was helpful... I'm totally thinking, "Jayme, you talk way too much", but I hope God works through that :)
After the conversation and a shower, the family and I headed out to Sugarlands Visitor Center for our trek to the waterfalls. We made it to one, nixed the second, and drove out to see the final two. The third has a closed parking lot, and the fourth was almost missed! It's crazy - what did God show me on the second day of my Tennessee adventure? That today is a good day. I saw beauty at its east coast finery. I experienced an exciting time learning about birds, trees, animals, and mountain life. Even more, though, today is a day the Lord made, and we can choose to rejoice and be glad in it. I mean, seriously, isn't that what brings Him joy? Knowing we go through the day loving it because He made it? The only thing that could make it all better is shouting the gospel to every corner of the world!
Our great commission in life is make disciples wherever we go, right? So, what makes us effective in this venture? Rejoicing in each day He's made for us! Joy is a by-product of love, and His love is life changing! His love is gratifying, electrifying, fulfilling, exciting, and completely joyful!
Take Him at His word: seek His kingdom, a joyful and wonderful experience, and everything will come to you - His grace, affection, mercy, compassion, blessings, favor, and opportunities to share it all with the world.
I know this may seem scattered - that could be due to watching Cartoon Network at the same time I'm trying to be spiritual - but God is desiring us to take the day and see the many occasions throughout the day to see how awesomely He works in our lives.
Rest of the afternoon spent at "The Funnel Cake", where they dip candy bars and fry them in addition to selling funnel cakes with tasty toppings, ice cream, and drinks. So good, but needed a salad after that one! Then, we headed back to the resort via Wal-Mart (God's gift to the middle class), and now everyone's resting before an evening full of twilight swimming.
So, here's my wrap-up: Today really is a good day - here's to walking trails, Wal-Mart, wonderfully tasty funnel cakes, a wicked Taco Tuesday, and a weeknight of water fun! Rejoice and be glad in your beautiful day, my friends!
Monday, May 3, 2010
Day 1 in the Great Smoky Mountains
From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea
Creation's revealing Your majesty
From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring
Every creature unique in the song that it sings
All exclaiming
Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light
Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night
None can fathom
Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name
You are amazing God
All powerful, untamable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God
Incomparable, unchangeable
You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same
You are amazing God
You are amazing God
Last night, the Stevenson family and myself ventured into the Great Smoky Mountains for a week of vacationing. From Marietta to the GA border, it was beautiful, partly cloudy, and divinely quiet. From the Tennessee border to the entrance of the resort, it was torrential rainstorm and hurricane-like winds. I realized as we continued to push through and make our way toward Sevierville/Pigeon Forge that our trip, from the beginning, would be an adventure. So far (near the end of day one), it has not disappointed.
I woke up this morning and pulled back the curtains in my room at this wonderful mountain resort. The view from my window made me immediately think of the song above. I couldn't believe how majestic and amazing the world was right before my eyes. I watched the clouds roll back as time passed and reveal even more mountaintops. It took everything in me not to cry at the awe-inspiring scene before me. I shared my view with my brother and sister-in-law, and each of us thanked the Lord for His blessings.
Later in the AM, I went with Tommy and Brandy to scout out the area, and that was an amazing adventure. The things we found may not qualify to others as adventurous or amazing, but it was to me. We drove through the mountains and pulled off to the side to take pictures of these amazing scenes created by the hand of God. Our adventure: trying to fathom the awesomeness of God's desire for beauty in nature. I wish I could post pictures, but I forgot the USB cable for my camera. If you ever get to travel through this part of Tennessee, take advantage of the opportunity.
Tomorrow, we're headed off on a couple hikes to see waterfalls, mountain peaks, and even walking through the valleys.
Tonight, it's "As Seen on TV" and the Tanger Outlet mall. The diversity of my family... I love it!
So, today's amazingly, full of God thought... Today, we could have driven right through the mountains looking and saying, "Oh, that's nice". I could've left the curtains closed and complained about the 3 phone calls and banging on the door that woke us up over the course of the morning. I could've gotten upset when the plans were up in limbo, and we possibly were headed to Florida instead!
God has such amazing plans for us, all throughout the day, and it only takes ONE decision to alter it all. He wanted us in Tennessee this week, and He knew rain couldn't deter us. He wanted us to see the mountains and valleys and trees and streams and waterfalls. He wanted us to encounter the nice, kind people along the way here and even here now.
Remember, God wants awe-inspiring, mind-blowing, transforming events in our lives all the time everyday. When Jesus said he came to bring life and that it would be abundant, he wasn't just talking about "I have joy today". He brought exciting excursions through his creation and wonderful conversations with friends. He brought life-changing volunteer opportunities that result in extreme gratitude, graciousness, and thankfulness. He brought family and love and support and encouragement. He brought the Holy Spirit, who speaks life and truth to us all the time.
I can't imagine life without my Heavenly Father, His Son, His Spirit, and His heart for me.
Tommy walked out of my room after seeing the view, and he said, "God loves you!"
All I can say after today is "Yes, He does!"
Oh, how He loves us so!
How I love Him in return!
Creation's revealing Your majesty
From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring
Every creature unique in the song that it sings
All exclaiming
Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light
Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night
None can fathom
Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name
You are amazing God
All powerful, untamable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God
Incomparable, unchangeable
You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same
You are amazing God
You are amazing God
Last night, the Stevenson family and myself ventured into the Great Smoky Mountains for a week of vacationing. From Marietta to the GA border, it was beautiful, partly cloudy, and divinely quiet. From the Tennessee border to the entrance of the resort, it was torrential rainstorm and hurricane-like winds. I realized as we continued to push through and make our way toward Sevierville/Pigeon Forge that our trip, from the beginning, would be an adventure. So far (near the end of day one), it has not disappointed.
I woke up this morning and pulled back the curtains in my room at this wonderful mountain resort. The view from my window made me immediately think of the song above. I couldn't believe how majestic and amazing the world was right before my eyes. I watched the clouds roll back as time passed and reveal even more mountaintops. It took everything in me not to cry at the awe-inspiring scene before me. I shared my view with my brother and sister-in-law, and each of us thanked the Lord for His blessings.
Later in the AM, I went with Tommy and Brandy to scout out the area, and that was an amazing adventure. The things we found may not qualify to others as adventurous or amazing, but it was to me. We drove through the mountains and pulled off to the side to take pictures of these amazing scenes created by the hand of God. Our adventure: trying to fathom the awesomeness of God's desire for beauty in nature. I wish I could post pictures, but I forgot the USB cable for my camera. If you ever get to travel through this part of Tennessee, take advantage of the opportunity.
Tomorrow, we're headed off on a couple hikes to see waterfalls, mountain peaks, and even walking through the valleys.
Tonight, it's "As Seen on TV" and the Tanger Outlet mall. The diversity of my family... I love it!
So, today's amazingly, full of God thought... Today, we could have driven right through the mountains looking and saying, "Oh, that's nice". I could've left the curtains closed and complained about the 3 phone calls and banging on the door that woke us up over the course of the morning. I could've gotten upset when the plans were up in limbo, and we possibly were headed to Florida instead!
God has such amazing plans for us, all throughout the day, and it only takes ONE decision to alter it all. He wanted us in Tennessee this week, and He knew rain couldn't deter us. He wanted us to see the mountains and valleys and trees and streams and waterfalls. He wanted us to encounter the nice, kind people along the way here and even here now.
Remember, God wants awe-inspiring, mind-blowing, transforming events in our lives all the time everyday. When Jesus said he came to bring life and that it would be abundant, he wasn't just talking about "I have joy today". He brought exciting excursions through his creation and wonderful conversations with friends. He brought life-changing volunteer opportunities that result in extreme gratitude, graciousness, and thankfulness. He brought family and love and support and encouragement. He brought the Holy Spirit, who speaks life and truth to us all the time.
I can't imagine life without my Heavenly Father, His Son, His Spirit, and His heart for me.
Tommy walked out of my room after seeing the view, and he said, "God loves you!"
All I can say after today is "Yes, He does!"
Oh, how He loves us so!
How I love Him in return!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)